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Found 9 results

  1. Comrade tankers, Darkest were the days of 1941 when we ground through the T-34 line, clanless and alone. Then we saw the light of the Forum Warriors channel, from which came offers of platoons and friendship. We remember how we became one with PBKAC and fought our campy Swamp battles in Europe. We can still vividly hear the IOC's order on Fisherman's Bay: "one-two line, begin yer push". We recall our victory with a half-baked fascist box strat on Ruinberg and our obscene defeat from "dick in facce" on Cliffs. We were there to witness the conception of hardcore PBKAC Himmelsdorf strats, where once we stacked meds on the hill only to lose to a capfast. We had our moments farming lame points with BULBA in the Americas and doing our giddy M60 count-ins to farm pubbie tears. And of course, who can forget the thunderdome, the fast-bois strongholds, and the anime club. Nowadays the war is over and the soldiers don't know where to go. The WarGods removed all-chat and so we bid farewell to the days of smack-talking baddies. CR/D is dead and gone, forever buried deep in the ground alongside Chairinabasket. We wonder where the veterans from old PETCO are now and what new hip game they play today. We tried the PTSD-inducing Red Orchestra 2, fighting the Great Patriotic War as a conscript with only a rifle and bayonnet, but the community there was small, they didn't insult each other much, and there was neither stat padding nor metagame. We tried League of Legends, finding some of the memes and airhorn-inducing MLG plays entertaining, but it lacked the euphoric feeling of a 3-unicorn hard-carry; there was none of the "us versus them" mentality as the game just makes good players fight other good players. We miss the days of WoT; terrible as the game is, the people playing it are second to none. We dream of fighting with you unicorns in the halls of Valhalla, forever pursuing the 99.9% winrate and surfing on the waves of the Red Sea. Thank you all for our time together. We are here to read through old posts and we would love to chat and reminisce. 8112204 (2011 - 2015)
  2. The Proletarian Public's IS-6 Gold Economics Study Journal of Sovietskiy Gold Economic Studies (1948), Volume 1, 12-20(4) Abstract This study evaluates the economic viability of an IS-6 when firing gold. Research is conducted by recording statistics from in-game battles. The study concludes that the IS-6 can fire half APCR and still generate a surplus of silver ration tickets. These findings demonstrate that the tanks of comrade Stalin can crush capitalist potatoes without limit. Keywords: IS-6, APCR, gold, Stalin, potato Music Introduction Background Method Results 8112204 Discussion Conclusion Acknowledgements TL;DR
  3. /While XVM showed us that faith in statistics, /Inspires us to carries, to deeds, and to fame! ☭ Comrades of WoTLabs, As the scientists, engineers, and mathematicians of our glorious Motherland, it is our sacred duty to spread our famous luck and wisdom to the proletarian masses. To further the cause of Soviet public education, we must study, experiment, and establish new, groundbreaking literature for the benefit of the workers of the world. Only with such great patriotic effort can we bring about the peoples' dream of international socialism. From our base of operations in the WoTLabs Forums, we are in a position to re-launch The Proletarian Public's IS-6 Gold Economics Study. In this study, we aim to assess how practical it is to liberally use gold shells with tanks such as the IS-6. With this program, we can share our knowledge with the WoT Official Forums, which are in sore need of education. Top: The superior academic facilities of WoTLabs Forums. Bottom: The state of education in the WoT Official Forums. The success of this program depends on you, the tankers of WoTLabs. In a style that Lenin would approve of, we will use an army of volunteers to collect a variety of IS-6 combat data. For this study, we will accept data from tankers of all stat (luck) brackets for a wide spectrum of results. Volunteers will be acknowledged in the study and will receive mass amounts of e-honour. To motivate this operation, we provide some background information: For those who are prepared to serve our glorious Union, carefully read through the methodology of this study so as to adhere to proper scientific standards. Furthermore, re-reading some of our old Soviet Gold Economics Studies may help you understand the relevant data and evidence required for such a study. Method: For volunteers who meet the restrictions, the actions they are to take for this study are as follows: 5) Record relevant data on to a spreadsheet, making use of sums and multiplications to calculate values with factory-level accuracy and efficiency. Be sure to calculate values for both Standard and Premium Economics Policies. See the following example below for all the data that is required. Note: The number in brackets besides AP, APCR, and HE are the costs in silver ration tickets of each respective shell. 6) Repeat steps 3) to 5). 10 games must be played per volunteer. 7.1) At the end of the study, take another screenshot of one's own IS-6 stats. The number of battles that have elapsed between this screenshot and the pre-study screenshot must equal the number of entries on the spreadsheet to prove that every battle is accounted for. 7.2) Even under special circumstances such as an internet disconnect, every battle must be recorded. Try to salvage as much information as possible; if a piece of data cannot be found, leave a blank and note the exceptional event. Inferior capitalist internet is a real issue and should be represented in this study. 7.3) Likewise, an exceptional event that occurs in-game does not warrant skipping over the data collection for a battle. Being one-shot by arty may abnormally reduce one's stats, but cancer is a real world issue and must be depicted in a true-to-life manner by this study. 8 ) Having finished the study, the volunteer is to submit the following documents for analysis: The volunteer will then be promptly awarded a medal and pronounced a Hero of the Soviet Union. References: Aside from submitting data, a comrade can help by posting feedback on the methodology of this experiment. What is the best way to gather data in a consistent manner, while allowing for unavoidable differences e.g. playstyle? Finally, any relevant images are welcome, including in-game screenshots of pubbie tears and chemotherapy for cancer. We especially encourage Russian Bias and/or ponies. Discuss. And for those who,...
  4. "What the hell are our pubbies doing?!" "Nothing. Can you not tell?" Written well before the rise of the Unicorn Era, the "Song of the Pubbie Hoisters", also known as "Oh, Pubbies", is an ancient unicorn hymn dedicated to those who pubstomp tirelessly on their crusades to carry the pubbie masses. Praised for its sentimental value, the song details only some of the countless hardships that unicorns must endure on their daily pubbing expeditions, painting a valiant and serious-faced image of the holy war between unicorns and pubbies. It sings in sympathy for all those who never fail to inflict 5000 damage, reset cap a dozen times over, and harvest gallons of pubbie tears, only to be dragged down by the noxious Sea of Red. More importantly, "Oh, Pubbies" is the oldest existing document that references one of the greatest philosophical questions of all e-history: why are pubbies so hard to carry? "Oh, Pubbies" is believed to have been written by the "единорог", spoken of in olden unicorn mythology as "the one who could carry all". Boasting the strength of a hundred pubbies, it is said that the единорог could hoist more damage than a tank nine tiers above it. A master of vision control, it is rarely ever seen as it slays pubbies left and right, relishing in the accusations of "cheater!" and "hax!". It would flex and bolster a failing flank, clutching those who are [email protected], and dragging its team kicking and screaming to the final victory. Yet all stories tell of how the единорог's winrate is only 99.9%, for on one fateful battle it was one-shotted by a clicker of its own team, and thus failed to carry. From that one vengeful moment, the "Song of the Pubbie Hoisters" was born, expressing in crimson script all the combined hatred and heartfelt frustrations of unicorn-kind against the pubbie potatoes. In turn, the creation of this hymn began the uplifting of unicorns from the Age of Discovery to the Unicorn Era, driving forward the advancement of science and magic. Inspired by the words of the единорог, the unica developed advanced damage-farming techniques as the T57, Object 268, and WFT-100. In securing their chances of hoisting, unicorns learned to harness the magicks of preferential matchmaking, enchanted such carrying platforms as the IS-6, KV-5, and Type 59. To lift the pubbies both east and west, fast pubbie-destroyers as the Hellcat, SU-122-44, and E-25 were brought to existence. Soon, gold shells rained aplenty, egos clashed, and the standards of carrying skyrocketed. All across the world, the highest levels of the Unicorn Development Index raced from a modest 60% to well over 80%. Even though millennia have since passed, "Oh Pubbies" remains a symbol and tribute to the unicorn's eternal struggle over winrate. Though the legendary единорог's winrate of 99.9% serves as a reminder that there may never ever be a complete victory over the Red Sea, and that pubbie hoisting is a never-ending journey, it remains the unicorn's burden to curry hard in the name of e-honure. And so long as the necessity of carrying pubbies remains, there must be outlets for the inevitable unicorn rage. For this purpose, "Oh Pubbies" has been popularized for a wide variety of uses ranging from casual unicorn karaoke, to a proud military march, to a solemn funeral dirge. Indeed, nothing produces a more calming effect than insulting pubbies in song. Now, we present, the "Song of the Pubbie Hoisters", with translated and modernized lyrics: http://youtu.be/88gLWwq5G5M Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? Parking behind our cloaked T-D, Drooling beside our S-P-G. Camping it for fun, Smack-talking for fun. Guarding our precious S-P-G! ♪♫ Guarding our precious S-P-G! Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? By these potatoes we see, Fifty damage with H-E! Blocking us for fun, Pushing us for fun. Fifty damage with H-E! Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? Oh, you - Red Sea - so heavy! Capping fast oh so merry. Rushing in for fun, Lemming train for fun. Capping fast yet not wary! Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Red Sea, Red Sea - so heavy! Oh, pubbies! Oh, scrubbies! Why are you so hard to carry? Ey, haul the pubbies! Hoist the scrubbies! (Why are you so hard to carry?) Oh, pubbies! (Haul the pubs!) Oh, scrubbies! (Hoist the scrubs!) Why are you so hard to carry? Oh, pubbies. Oh, scrubbies. Close, G-G... Tell us, then, why are pubbies so hard to carry?
  5. Russia called - they want their revolution back. ~ Darkest days are these indeed, as we crawl through global economic stagnation, the collapse of the military industry, and the mass riots on our golden honeypots. Diplomacy and rivalry have all but become matters of triviality, given the status quo of six provinces per clan. Such is the frozen state of the world map that, truly, it gives new meaning to the definition of "Cold War". Gone are the joyous days of Euro-Russo-Warfare, the vigorous sparring of unicorn e-peens, and the multicultural wonders of the Big Three, the Scandin-African-scrubs, and the goons, who ruin everything. All those and more have been replaced by the American melting pot, which forces upon us immobility, lack of additional farming opportunities, terrible or non-existent wardecs, and non-stop riots from the buttmad pubbie potato-class. The provinces of the unicorns, even those with 5% riot chances, are now incessantly assaulted by swarms of baddies hoping to win a piece of land by some miraculous technical victory. And given the general incompetencies of the WarGods, errors and technical victories are not an uncommon phenomenon. Thus the unicorn is trapped under a sea of red, a most unsettling and supernatural threat with the ability to strike anywhere on the map. Likewise when faced with arty on the battlefield, the unicorn dares not step forward for fear that RNG should spite her. In this manner, progress is impeded, and as the WarGods have brought much the same system upon the global arena, so too stagnation is inevitable. Under such oppression, what is the unicorn to do? Is this the end of the clanwars meta as we know it? The very reason for which we post drama and talk smack, for which we beat up pubbies for EXP to grind our Tier 10s, for which we padded in platoons and in tank companies, just so we can join a big clan and pad further in clan wars? To answer such questions, we must ask ourselves, "Who are we? What are we prepared for?". Were the unicorns not the ones who, since the beginning of time, stood up and rose above the scrubbish hordes? The ones who fought for and won their eternal freedom from pubbie ignorance? It was the unicorn who walked the path from yellow, to green, to blue, and to the deepest of purple. It was the unicorn who brought the world together under the banner of the Unicorn Union, our dear motherland for whom we wrote, with script of the purest violet, our national anthem. Let not one of us forget the promises we made and the journeys we have been through, that which is immortalized forever in our hearts, minds, and digital multi-media. Let all rise for the song of the unicorn: the one, the only, the purple-tinted, the lavender-encrusted, National Anthem of the Unicorn Union! http://youtu.be/0yDrtNEr_5M National Anthem of the Unicorn Union The purple republics in freedom united, Have mustered their power, their swagger, their pride! And thus they created the Unicorn Union, To purge all the pubbies that spread far and wide! Build, N-A-S Alliances; farm, all the global provinces! Mad goaldz and premium for player and clan! Wealth of the unicorns, lead us to victory! Firing all gold rounds since freedom began! Through days dark and stormy our winrates have led us, Down the bright path to scrub scrubs from this game! While X-V-M showed us that faith in statistics, Inspires us to carries, to deeds, and to fame! Pad, from our platoons never leave; drag, along the entire team! E-peen and ego for player and clan! Luck of the unicorns, lead us to victory! Pubstomping baddies since freedom began! We fought for the future, denied the deniers, To pubbie potatoes we'll never give in! For glorious spergings of small clans' frustrations, We'll see the creation of NA-SA again! Rise, citizens of C-R-D; Post, and great drama there will be! Pub tears and laughter for player and clan! Thread of the unicorns, lead us to victory! Singing sweet memories since freedom began! When the battle seems lost and the pubbies ragequit back to their garages, the unicorn can always carry. Stagnation and campfests are nothing when faced with the superior tactics and flexibility of the purple tankers. While the worst of the WarGods' updates and subversions are likely yet to come, and the possibility of our extinction remaining very real indeed, the unicorn's creative nature and advanced intellect will never fail. As sure as the gold that pours into our treasuries, the unicorn will find a way to collect pubbie tears and complaint threads, to wage the same epeen war for the hundredth time, and to create new, exciting metagames in spite of any obstacle before us. And should our renowned luck finally run out during our noble struggle against the terribads, the Unicorn Union will go out with no less than a purple blaze of glory. With riot intensities rising, the pressure is building. Both sides are anxious - the stage set, the players ready, the countdown ticking. Will the pubbie masses succeed in extinguishing the light of the unicorns, or will the unicorns respond with something even greater than NASA? Revolution is coming, of that all are sure. What remains to be seen is, whose revolution it shall be.
  6. As the oppressing sun sets on the Second Campaign, so rose the mighty Failowe from its restless slumber. ~ A great sigh of relief could be heard by every unicorn when the end of the Second Campaign came to be. Too many had suffered bitterly in the clash of the Browser Wars; diplomats negotiated for days at a time over which clam chips what, accountants worked through many endless nights to balance their spreadsheets, and there was unrest even amongst the soldiers themselves as they squabbled over e-fame. Entire clams were forced to land and commit map sudoku each night, jumping like seals through hoops for the amusement of the cruel and fickle WarGods. More aggravating still was the sight of terribads farming mad goaldz on the sandbox map, when they normally could not even take two steps on the icy mountains of Greenland. But now that this plague is over, the scrubs will be wiped from the earth once more, and the unica can resume their usual schedule of righteous pub-clubbing crusades. Not all were satisfied, however... There exists groups of unicorn extremists who, furious at the lack of tears shed during the Campaign, demanded further drama and e-rage even after the Browser Wars ended. "Abuse the scrubs!", they cried, "Terrorize them, and let them pour out endless streams of delicious nourishment for us to harvest!". Fuelled by their lust for pubbie eye-excrement, the unica gathered to plot against these scrub-clams, who were to enjoy the Campaign's bounty no longer. On the night of the Campaign's end, seven thousand two hundred and one pubs were brought to the dark retreats of Murovanka Woods. There, the sacrifices were beaten mercilessly on their posteriors by shells of pure gold, and their many tears were deftly collected. With this holy water, a ritual square was drawn on the muddy ground. Thereupon the unicorn fanatics tapped into forbidden magicks to raise a monstrosity capable of causing butthurt beyond measure: the great Failowe - lord of all boxes. Thus was born the school of Failowesophy, created in the name of causing great madness to baddies everywhere. It is said that those who accept the teachings and follow in the glorious treads of the Failowe will know true ascension, but only if they are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. For it is known, that to maximize the output of jealous agony from the pubbie masses, one must drive an incarnation of the Failowe, and in ritual sacrifice, self-destruct. A build-up to this moment is permitted, as baiting pubbies with VK7201 codes, spinning in circles on the cap, or the like, but the true prestige comes only in e-honurable sudoku. An excerpt from a Failowesophic sermon states the following, "True it may be that, written in the ancient unicorn texts, unicorn blood is sacred and is never to be shed. Thus, the rightful method of death is only through drowning. Fear not the pain of suffocation, but embrace it as a symbolic representation of launching oneself into a pool of pubbie tears. A remark, however, that the followers of Failowe are unlike those who are deceived by the blasphemy of M60_Jesus. Such fools attempt to drive on the water, rejecting its scrumptious influence, while those who know the light of the Failowe will accept the water's offerings with pride and glory." M60_Jesus, or M60_Potato? Already, fierce competition has erupted between those who follow M60_Jesus and those who follow Failowe. There are rumours of M60s who are prepared to interfere with the Failowe's initial rise to power, but fortunately, it is the pub-scrubs who are taking most of the collateral damage. Both factions seek to extract the most trolls, tears, rage, buttmad, reports for unfair play, etc. from pubbies, while the rest of the unicorn population watches on for the much needed and very enjoyable drama. So far no blows have been struck, but the question remains: when will the Failowes begin their count-ins?
  7. Study helps labour. ☭ Comrade tankers, Our eyes behind enemy lines have confirmed that fascist machinations have led to a new tank-destroyer variant of box-tank, which they strangely call the "WaiFuTrager E-100". Such a tank has already been fielded against the Western front, resulting in heavy initial losses for the capitalist potato-tanks. All things considered, it does not take much effort to mash a potato, but various reports do indicate that the WFT carries "an operational 420 degree turret; a gun with laser, radar, and infrared guided targeting; an autoloader that can drop six shells in 10 seconds, APCR that can penetrate anything by autoaiming, speed that matches that of the Stalin-3, invisibility enhanced by German brick-style camouflage", and, most outrageous of all, "420 units of view range". Obviously, such exaggerated claims are the work of the fascist propaganda machine, but nevertheless it is our duty to study this new threat and formulate the most efficient countermeasures to not only deal with it, but fully eradicate it in the name of the great and everlasting party. Due to the fact that the WFT has not yet been fielded on the Eastern front, acquiring a live sample is highly impractical. The only other option then is to acquire documents containing information in relation to the WFT such that we may analyze this new development. These documents are likely well-hidden behind German-occupied territory, and thus the Motherland calls upon her faithful partisans, the people's peasant-patriots operating behind enemy lines, to intercept or steal this vital information, and send it back to Soviet high command for review. Such confidence we have that the experimental WFT will be a miserable flop, that we require the documents to have been written by the best of the fascist box-ers. Let them show us the best that this abomination can do! Thus the sample should come from fascist unicorns of high stats, optimal equipment, and professional box-crew, so that we may see the greatest extent of success, or, more likely, failure, that the WFT is capable of. It is well known that unicorns usually venture in platoons, so a sample with platooning would be considered acceptable. The sensitive secrets we seek must follow a standardized format, similar to the figure shown below: [sAMPLE] For good science, the sample size should be a minimum of about 20 to 30 trials. As the WFT is, technically, if not practically, a Tier 10 tank-of-the-line, we expect that information regarding "Top Tier" be replaced with other such data as "Number of Orbital Cannon". Ammunition data may vary depending on the type used, and optionally we may find data on the expenditure of consumables e.g. the excessive consumption of beer-flavoured chocolate. To prove that the data is not a fascist forgery in an attempt to deceive their own wavering soldiers, the document should come with full combat footage and end-of-battle records. It is recommended also to include before and after records of overall stats. With such intelligence in hand, the Union's unrelenting stat-pad scientists will be able to evaluate the weaknesses and, if any, strengths of this box-tank. Afterwards, the Ministry of War will issue the official verdict and send a report to Stavka, whose genius and leadership will form a stratagem to annihilate this threat against the working public. The partisan groups who obtain this critical data, by any means necessary, would rightfully earn themselves the titles, "Hero of the Soviet Union", and their names will live in the legends of folk tale forevermore. Volunteers of the Red Army, enlist now!
  8. In five easy steps: 1. Find someone named "Bombing_IRAQ". 2. State, "Reported for offensive name." 3. State, "Bombing our home country." 4. Prepare for shitstorm. 5. Profit. Replay evidence of superior success: http://www.mediafire.com/?ksm670q7gob9l0m Conclusion: Next time you want a pubbie's attention, make reference to bombing Iraq. "If only pubbies reacted this strongly to tactical advice."
  9. Read and bump the original post here: http://forum.worldoftanks.com/index.php?/topic/251007-russian-time-travelling-hacks-all-the-garages/ ☭Comrade tankers, we face a time of great change: when whackamoles have been whacked, when Tier 5 HEAT derpers receive a derping, and when accuracy mechanics now mean that you can actually hit a weakspot if you aim for it. As we move forward from the 8.6 Revolution, we understand that there are those amongst us who have become nostalgic, who yearn for the good old days when shots flew outside the reticule, when M4 potato-platoons could carry 99% of the time, and especially when arty can whack a unicorn waltzing at 50km/h. It is those tankers for whom we call our unicorn time travel haxes for, as we race back into the past to retrieve copies of garages that have come and gone. It is our hopes that such memorabilia will bring all our comrades to accept the ever-progressing present, such that we may further develop enhanced agricultural methods for the harvest of arty tears together. Exhibit A - Unicum Exhibit B - Unicorn Know the difference. With the destruction of the pubbies' last bastion of hope, there is now nothing that can withstand the power of the unicorns. E-75s become invincible when using tactics such as the so-called sidescrape. BatChats may flex and deliver whole clips without being LOLoneshot from low orbit. Even the M46 potato can abuse terrain and take hulldown positions fearlessly. And of course, the T-54 can do everything better because it is Russian. Waves upon waves of purple platoons now ravage this World of Tanks, ripping apart the scrublets left and right, up and down, upside down and through the rear for extra butt-hurt. The eternal sea of red grows more crimson with each passing hour as it becomes flooded with the blood of infantile seals, whose despairing death throes can be heard from coast to coast. Join us then in savouring old memories, and creating new ones, as we transcend from the Unicorn Era to the Age of Alicorns! Hint: Click on ALL the spoilers for more text. New year garage: Apr 12 anniversary garage: Apr 26 Asian garage: May 1 potato garage: May 9 Soviet garage: (Self-sealing posts and no image limit? Best forum ever!) July 4 celebration garage: My Little Pony garage: Notice: Having travelled through the space-time continuum, the garages may be slightly altered from their original forms. InStalination Instructions: Unpack contents of .rar file into the res_mods/[game version] folder. The appropriate directories have already been generated, assuming that the folders do not exist already. If switching between garages, delete all components of the previous garage before inStalination. Failure to do so may cause inexplicable side effects which may or may not be desirable. It only takes Five Year minutes! Good Soviet tankists should also read these: http://forum.worldof...ous_exposition/ "But comrade commissar, does it come with the Russian music too?" Of course, you silly conscript! "And and and... what about the ponies?" Friendship is Magic! "Does it even include the pony voices?" Right here, comrade! Free free to discuss how these garages affect your gameplay.