AnArmyofBun

Bun's thread of Transitional Cataloging and discussion (and shenanigans).

2,611 posts in this topic

Loads of people have preconceptions, images of what they expect to see.

 

For a long time I was wearing old shop uniforms I'd picked up during my career, to where it was joked that was all I owned.

One MV event, I wore "normal" clothes (hey, event, not getting greasy why wear red-hat?). 

Anyhow, a lot of folks commented on the change.

 

What changed though? 

My fingernails were a skosh cleaner, and I wasn't wearing a shop uniform. That's it. Same person though.

 

You're always going to run into people who have preconceptions based on a package, and who react badly when what's inside is not what -they- think the package should contain.

 

What matters is if you're comfortable in your skin. Not how comfortable they are with your skin. (Unless they're some creepy axe murderer who wants to wear you, and at that point I really don't know what to say other than "It puts the lotion on it's skin" or something...).

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Hey Bun, glad to see you were comfortable to come out from behind your commander's hatch here.  You're awesome and your wife is a lucky lady.  And you're a lucky lady to have your wife.  Much <3!

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Well, I can safely say I'm more than a bit jealous of you Bun. I hope things turn out well. Something I could never do honestly (I'm just naturally big, I could drop some weight but it wouldn't change my bone structure any) manliest woman ever. I can only vaugely understand what kind of emotional and mental strain both you and your wife are going to be going through but I'm definatially going to be rooting for the both of you (and lurking this thread daily).

At the very least my room mate will be moving out and I can make my place mine fully. Can't wait to decorate with tea cups and old victorian era stuff I've been slowly stockpiling and let the "purty" and "cewt" and "elegant" spew all over my apartment.

Anyways, feel free to PM me or whatever, I will be lurking this thread daily for sure, and pass on my support to your wife. Brave, loving, tolerant, and understanding woman that she is.

Edit: Actually Bun, I have no one to talk to about this kind of thing, I would greatly appreciate it if you would hit me up so I have a like mind to talk to.

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Bun, I hope you find the happiness you are looking for and deserve. 

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Holy shit I just remembered about a guy I used to play CS:S with who was just starting his MtF transformation. He used to talk to me about it because I guess he felt comfortable after knowing I wasn't going to judge him on his decision to become a woman. I used to support him with his decisions and comfort his thoughts that no one would love him and other silly things. It's been a good 3/4 years now. I'd love to talk to her and see how life has been for her since the change but she changed her steam name :(

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Well, I can safely say I'm more than a bit jealous of you Bun. I hope things turn out well. Something I could never do honestly (I'm just naturally big, I could drop some weight but it wouldn't change my bone structure any) manliest woman ever. I can only vaugely understand what kind of emotional and mental strain both you and your wife are going to be going through but I'm definatially going to be rooting for the both of you (and lurking this thread daily).

At the very least my room mate will be moving out and I can make my place mine fully. Can't wait to decorate with tea cups and old victorian era stuff I've been slowly stockpiling and let the "purty" and "cewt" and "elegant" spew all over my apartment.

Anyways, feel free to PM me or whatever, I will be lurking this thread daily for sure, and pass on my support to your wife. Brave, loving, tolerant, and understanding woman that she is.

Edit: Actually Bun, I have no one to talk to about this kind of thing, I would greatly appreciate it if you would hit me up so I have a like mind to talk to.

 

Of course sugar, PM me any time and we can set something up.  I know it's hard dealing with these feelings and also no.  You wouldn't be the biggest, manliest woman on earth trust me I've seen what can be done.  At the center we have a girl named Marci, and she looks *great* Mechanic of 20 years, her hands are big but that's okay, you could never tell really by looking at her.  Seriously, don't say that about yourself.  It's a fear we all have, all of us. 

 

Holy shit I just remembered about a guy I used to play CS:S with who was just starting his MtF transformation. He used to talk to me about it because I guess he felt comfortable after knowing I wasn't going to judge him on his decision to become a woman. I used to support him with his decisions and comfort his thoughts that no one would love him and other silly things. It's been a good 3/4 years now. I'd love to talk to her and see how life has been for her since the change but she changed her steam name :(

 

Removed from your friends list?  Because you can see what peoples names have been I think.

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You know you're on a good forum when there are members willing to bare this much without having to worry about knee-jerk idiotic reactions.

 

Best regards.

 

 

ehehe *bare this much*

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You know you're on a good forum when there are members willing to bare this much without having to worry about knee-jerk idiotic reactions.

 

Best regards.

 

 

ehehe *bare this much*

 

Your name is quite reflective.  Also yes.  My wife is very very happy about the response from the community as well.  In the past when I've explained to others from various here and there's, the questions I get are either biblical in nature, or DID U CUT UR *()@#*&Q OFF!?  Those being the extremes rather.  Usually from people nearby who overhear and feel the need to jam their noses into other peoples conversations, which I don't hide from really.

 

I'm very proud of this community, it really is the gold standard. 

 

kekeke nude gurlz exit 12.

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the questions I get are either biblical in nature, or DID U CUT UR *()@#*&Q OFF!?

Both from basically the same mindset: a revulsion towards anything outside the confines of conformity.

 

Saw an interesting article on Slate that made me think of you, Bun.

 

If one of my daughters turns out gay or transgender, it'll be cool with me and I'll fully support them. It bugs me that any parent would try to shame their child out of their identity. You should always be your kids' #1 cheerleader.

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I think that people have a hard time with things they don't understand from personal experience.  Most people can explain why they are attracted to one sex or the other, because they have personal experience with it.  Just like they can talk knowledgeably about the many things that they have done and seen.  Feeling that you are a different sex than what you were born on us a tiny part of the population, but even if it was a larger slice, people are still not going to understand it, it's too radical from their own experience.

 

I don't understand it, nor would I ever claim to, but I know it exists and that it MUST be incredibly hard to admit it and talk about because it is so rare and unusual for the majority.  I am glad that you did not kill yourself, that's always a bad solution.  I am also glad for you that you have friends and loved ones that are accepting of your choice.  I would ask you to be patient and understanding with your parents and others, who may not be so accepting.  They don't have any frame of reference in their personal experience to prepare them for this.  No amount of NPR of Lifetime shows can really get inside what it is your are dealing with, they will be stuck with outsider information, so it will be difficult to process it.

 

There is a difference between believing in a set of values and living your life by them, and condemning others who do not believe or live by them.  I have been a practicing Christian for the last 20 years, and I have my values and beliefs and do my best to live by them as I have been called to.  I fail, sometimes daily.  It would therefore be ludicrous to condemn anyone who did not share my faith for behaviors that were not in  line with it.  Much of the condemnation that is heaped by pseudo-Christians comes from them dumping on groups that sin in areas they don't.  It's wrong, and un-biblical, but there is nothing to be done about it, but pray for them. 

 

Their are many important questions to ask ones self in life, as you are doing in your own life right now.  Do not ignore the question of God's presence in this world because of the published words of hypocrites.  Seek first hand knowledge, so you can be sure from your own understanding, what the answer may be.

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Both from basically the same mindset: a revulsion towards anything outside the confines of conformity.

 

Saw an interesting article on Slate that made me think of you, Bun.

 

If one of my daughters turns out gay or transgender, it'll be cool with me and I'll fully support them. It bugs me that any parent would try to shame their child out of their identity. You should always be your kids' #1 cheerleader.

 

This is the kind of reaction that we can hope most parents would have.  However it does require a bit of mutual understanding.  A parent who deals with their child going through a transition like this will suffer.  They suffer the knowledge that their child has been unhappy for so much of their life, and in my case, hid it.  They go through an almost death like loss of the child they knew, and now must get to know a new one in a way.  It's natural, and understandable.  The only way I can be with this is supportive, as they will need it as much as I.  Any parent really.

 

I think that people have a hard time with things they don't understand from personal experience.  Most people can explain why they are attracted to one sex or the other, because they have personal experience with it.  Just like they can talk knowledgeably about the many things that they have done and seen.  Feeling that you are a different sex than what you were born on us a tiny part of the population, but even if it was a larger slice, people are still not going to understand it, it's too radical from their own experience.

 

I don't understand it, nor would I ever claim to, but I know it exists and that it MUST be incredibly hard to admit it and talk about because it is so rare and unusual for the majority.  I am glad that you did not kill yourself, that's always a bad solution.  I am also glad for you that you have friends and loved ones that are accepting of your choice.  I would ask you to be patient and understanding with your parents and others, who may not be so accepting.  They don't have any frame of reference in their personal experience to prepare them for this.  No amount of NPR of Lifetime shows can really get inside what it is your are dealing with, they will be stuck with outsider information, so it will be difficult to process it.

 

There is a difference between believing in a set of values and living your life by them, and condemning others who do not believe or live by them.  I have been a practicing Christian for the last 20 years, and I have my values and beliefs and do my best to live by them as I have been called to.  I fail, sometimes daily.  It would therefore be ludicrous to condemn anyone who did not share my faith for behaviors that were not in  line with it.  Much of the condemnation that is heaped by pseudo-Christians comes from them dumping on groups that sin in areas they don't.  It's wrong, and un-biblical, but there is nothing to be done about it, but pray for them. 

 

Their are many important questions to ask ones self in life, as you are doing in your own life right now.  Do not ignore the question of God's presence in this world because of the published words of hypocrites.  Seek first hand knowledge, so you can be sure from your own understanding, what the answer may be.

 

I've been a "Christian" for a very long time, and I do live my life by the core values of the religion as best I can.  Like all, we stumble, we fall.  However I do not believe what I am doing is a sin as some would tell me, have told me, and will continue to tell me.  God made us all in his image.  This has tested me like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.  I has forced me to put my trust in others entirely.  To put everything I have on the line and have faith.  REAL FAITH in someone, other than myself.  My wife, my friends.  I was bitter, and very angry at God at first, if I was going to have someone to blame, it would be the man in the sky that I have no physical proof of his existence.  Why did he, it, she, whatever, do this to me?  Why couldn't I have been born normally?  The reason, the only logical reason I could come to, out of something that is in and of itself, illogical.  Was rather simple.

If it had happened any other way, I would not be the person I am today, nor would I have the people in my life that I do today.  I would not give them up for anything.  I would suffer this process a hundred times over in a hundred different lifetimes to keep them with me. 

 

I question my faith.  I question the existence of the creator.  I question his apparent choices.  However, what I do know in my circumstance?  Is that it has to be this way.  It can be no other way.  When I die?  If I meet him?  I will ask him then.  Until then?  I'll live by the values I found that were worth while in that text, and apply them every day.  Does this make me a bad Christian?  Maybe.  But I believe the word means more than just a narrow scoped view of a book and figure within it.

 

That's just one buns view on it.

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I'd love to talk to her and see how life has been for her since the change but she changed her steam name :(

 

Steam's "Add Nickname" option is a godgabensend, but i don't remember when they added it.

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Steam's "Add Nickname" option is a godgabensend, but i don't remember when they added it.

Praise Gaben and the Kingdom of Half Life 2: Episode 3, which may come when we die.

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I read this while making dinner and burned my pork chops severely, they tasted like dirt with burnt piss, even parmesan couldn't save that. So, I'm just going to go ahead and blame you for that, Erica. o_o

 

Also, you sound 100% more woman than me, I actually would never guess.

That being said, I am fresh out of fucks to give about what people choose to do with their life and what makes them whole as human beings. If you are happy, I am happy for you, simple as that. I just hope you get to a point in your life where you are 100% all you can be and want to be. 

10/10 would be invaded on TS again. :D

 

Oh, and, I have to agree with everyone; your wife sounds like a beautiful human, you are both lucky.

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I read this while making dinner and burned my pork chops severely, they tasted like dirt with burnt piss, even parmesan couldn't save that. So, I'm just going to go ahead and blame you for that, Erica. o_o

 

Also, you sound 100% more woman than me, I actually would never guess.

That being said, I am fresh out of fucks to give about what people choose to do with their life and what makes them whole as human beings. If you are happy, I am happy for you, simple as that. I just hope you get to a point in your life where you are 100% all you can be and want to be. 

10/10 would be invaded on TS again. :D

 

Oh, and, I have to agree with everyone; your wife sounds like a beautiful human, you are both lucky.

 

I rekt ur dinner.  I am unicom dinner rekker. 

 

It really does make me happy to hear you say that in a way Nurkus, about my voice.  What we have to recognize is that women sound really different from all over the world.  The perception of high squeeky voice is awful.  Many of us have more baritone voices.  There's nothing wrong with that.  You sound great. You just don't sound like the idealized western female voice.  Which I personally hate.  It took me two years of hard practice to get where I am.

 

The idea is that no one Should guess unless I tell them.  Back when I was starting in wot it was fairly clear something was up lol.  But, like learning tanks.  You throw yourself into the deep and and do it.  What actually really helped was I stopped trying so hard, and just relaxed and let my voice do what it wanted.  It resulted in a less nasally and slightly deeper tone that seems to fit just fine. I guess with everything you just have to work at it, and find out what is natural.

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For what it's worth from the handful of times we platooned on TS I never thought anything other than that you had a female voice.  It wasn't until you replied to one of my comments in another thread that I realized you were a transwoman.  

 

I personally like a deeper voice on a woman.  Husky voice is sexy as hell to me.  High pitched voices not so much.  

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I would comment, but I said what I had to say on the matter already, and I like to keep some secrets.

 

For all that you've said and done behind the scenes.  I truly appreciate it Solono.  Also I always picture you as your avatar, and that's a good thing.

 

For what it's worth from the handful of times we platooned on TS I never thought anything other than that you had a female voice.  It wasn't until you replied to one of my comments in another thread that I realized you were a transwoman.  

 

I personally like a deeper voice on a woman.  Husky voice is sexy as hell to me.  High pitched voices not so much.  

 

I so agree.  Huskier voices are the best.  Valley girl voice is a crime.  Thing is, you have to Work to get valley girl voice.  I know.  They do the same things I do to an extent.  It's an act that just becomes truth after a while.

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Speaking of voices...

 

I was talking to my trans friend on steam the other day. She keeps getting called "sir" on the phone. And every fucking time I go to McDonald's drive thru, "would you like fries with your order, ma'am?"   :sad:

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Hey good lookin!

 

Warms my ticker to see this.  Glad we got to roll together in BULLS before me ducking out of tanks for a while, but maybe catch you on down the road?

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Speaking of voices...

 

I was talking to my trans friend on steam the other day. She keeps getting called "sir" on the phone. And every fucking time I go to McDonald's drive thru, "would you like fries with your order, ma'am?"   :sad:

 

It takes a lot of voice work.  When things are clearer over a phone its more difficult.  Even more so over a VOIP.  A drive through is shit quality with headphones on someone multitasking.  If she keeps at it though, it'll all come together.  Some transwomen don't really ever change their voices because it's that difficult.  Funny story.  I got one of our bank accounts locked due to forgetting the PW and called.  I had to impersonate my wife to get it unlocked.

 

Confidence booster.

 

Hey good lookin!

 

Warms my ticker to see this.  Glad we got to roll together in BULLS before me ducking out of tanks for a while, but maybe catch you on down the road?

 

Your signature.  It..it matches So well to what you said.  Of course, when I return to tanks next week I have a lot of platooning to do and would love to play with you. :)  Don't let your ticker warm up too much lest it overheat.

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I admit that in the past i haven't been the most accepting person when it came to transgender or even gay people, its all where i grew up and the people i was around living in a more rural area. 

Guess it took meeting a few good people in this community to almost 180 the way i saw things my whole life, and this is only in the last 3 or 4 years. So God bless and continue living the way you see fit and not the way others perceive you should.  

 

Also bewbs pls.   

 

 

Similar story here.  A lot of religiosity in my youth, and very conservative communities.  It's only been in the last few years that I've started to adopt a more tolerant view.  

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Similar story here.  A lot of religiosity in my youth, and very conservative communities.  It's only been in the last few years that I've started to adopt a more tolerant view.  

 

Well, I personally thank you for trying to change the way you think.  I know it's not easy, so..One step at a time.  Being tolerant of other people is the best thing we can be. 

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Well, I personally thank you for trying to change the way you think.  I know it's not easy, so..One step at a time.  Being tolerant of other people is the best thing we can be. 

 

 

I think I misspoke.  "More tolerant view" is not right at all.  I've simply decided to hate different people :P

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I think I misspoke.  "More tolerant view" is not right at all.  I've simply decided to hate different people :P

Indeed.  I grew up with religion shoved down my throat and the only thing it taught me is how hypocritical and intolerant religions can be.  (Sorry to anyone who is religious, I don't hate you I promise)

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