AnArmyofBun

Bun's thread of Transitional Cataloging and discussion (and shenanigans).

2,611 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, Inciatus said:

Thanks :3 though now I'm curious as to what you can't say out loud.

if she's anything like me, she would say iwouldtotallybopyou

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I remembered there was something else I was going to post but I couldnt remember what it was at the time.

Last Tuesday I had my first session of laser to start removing the facial hair. It was substantially more painful than I was expecting and most people described. It felt like I was repeatedly getting like a dozen shots except the needles had been dunked in liquid nitrogen (it was freezing for a moment then felt searing hot) in a very small area over and over again across my entire face. The upper lip was really bad and I jumped after each hit. Definitely getting some numbing cream for next time. Even though I was closely shaved the smell of burnt hair was everywhere and for the next like 24 hours I would smell it sometimes and made my stomach all unhappy. Also the breakouts on my face this past week were probably the worst I've had in years, maybe ever though they seem to be mostly stopping now so yay.

2 hours ago, Rexxie said:

iwouldtotallybopyou

fuzzywouldnthaveaproblemwiththat

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So I woke up from surgery about 45 min ago. It was to stick a sensor in my esophagus to monitor my pH since I get heart burn a lot. They found four linear ulcers in my esophagus and I have a large diaphragm hernia so hopefully we can get that fixed.

One of the ladies joked if we were doing a breast augmentation which was very amusing given that she wouldn't have any idea. I said maybe later.

Also I had an interesting dream before waking up. I was a lower general in the AustroHungarian Empire in 1915 in the Carpathian Mountains in Galicia and I had been an observer during the Russo Japanese war and really pissed at Conrad von Hoetzendorf becuase he rejected a proposal for a motorgeshutz in 1911 and it would've been really useful trying to break through the Russian defenses. Then I woke up to carolers walking through the hospital.

Also my throat hurts a bit and it feels like there is something stuck there probably becuase there is.

 

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So today I met with the endocrinologist about HRT. It was an extremely fast appointment over all. Right now the plan is to start at 2mg estrogen and 50mg spiro and move from there likely starting progesterone around 6 months in. I have to do some bloodwork first just to make sure everything is okay with me and I scheduled that today for tomorrow morning. Once I get the results for that I think I'm supposed to meet again though maybe she's going to call assuming things are hunky dory. So yay.

I also finished with the monitor on Monday and brought that back and I can finally take my antacid medicine again!

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11 hours ago, 1n_Soviet_Russia said:

Godspeed Fuzzy, hope you have a great Christmas and a speedy recovery.   

Thanks. There are two unrelated things going on at the same time one for the gender stuff and one for GERD (acid reflux). On Wednesday I have a meeting with the doctor to review the data and determine if I'm a candidate for the surgery and which one would be best for me (most likely the ring around the esophagus becuase I'm young and the other one basically twists the stomach around the esophagus to use the stomach muscle to hold the valve closed but only lasts ten or so years and I plan on lasting longer than that.

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Moving date is around the First of Janurary.

 

No idea where I'm going to stay yet but I don't really care.  The abuse between my mom and grandma and then me has hit a all time high.  I don't really care where the fuck I end up as long as it isn't here.  Basically got a job locked in with home depot there right now.  I'm just so sick of being treated like trash or a punching bag all the time no matter what I do.  On top of that it's always "work harder" or my grandma saying stupid shit like "You and Mike will never be welcome in my home"  I'm just done, I'm tired of the toxic atmosphere, I'm tired of being treated like I'm a piece of shit. 

 

idk, here's my paypal link if anyone wants to help. paypal.me/alesiaaisela   
I'm delivered for 4 fucking funerals this week and I'm just burnt, between my shitty family and the stress of moving I don't really have anything meaningful to say. 

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I hope everyone is having a good holiday. I went home for a bit and had a nice time with my family for the couple days I was home. My parents gave me a cute dress (shown in spoiler) for Chanukkah though the neck is a bit too small on me so I'll nee some button extenders. They also picked up a little trinket on their anniversary in Sedona which is a little horse necklace carved from a piece of stone. The little sheet that came with it called the stone figure a fetish so I guess I have a horse fetish now guys.

 

A3_CEF63_FC1_F5_E38_A40_C1565_E415_C4329

The shoes are mine I just have very short wide feet so any open toed shoe looks too big on me.

@Alesia I really hope things improve for you and I really hope that 2017 is a better year for you than this year was. CiD, bun, and I are here if you want to vent. I wish I could say I have a solution to the problems you face or help to make things better for you. Things will work out eventually; I do sincerely hope eventually is sooner rather than later.

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It looks like I'll be staying in Oroville for a while but I -wont- be staying with my Mom any longer.  Also going to go to my doctor and beg to get started on hormones.  Every time is look in the mirror Ian hate everything a little more.

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Some stuff which might be of interest to those following the stories of the minor characters on the sidelines:


The Friday before last, I had the joy of fainting during a blood draw. I didn't even mind, being so happy as I was at the time to finally be making real progress towards HRT.
I left to visit my parents that night. I spent most of the following week trying to build up the confidence to say what I needed to and doing quite a lot of technical work for my father, whose small organization doesn't have the funding to hire IT staff. I enjoyed the work. Things were going well.

Late in the evening on this past Friday, I came out to my father. I wasn't expecting a positive reaction, as he's a very religiously and politically conservative person, but there really was no way forward that didn't involve honesty and openness, so I found an appropriate time to tell him that I'm trans, and did so, heart racing all the while.
This went remarkably poorly, even when compared to my rather pessimistic expectations.

My father's initial reaction was an understandable measure of shock and pleading with me not to 'act on that'.

He proceeded to speak to my mother without me, and in the 24 hours or so afterwards, I was told that I was no longer welcome if I 'continue to embrace sin'. They have no interest in telling my young sister about any of this or allowing me to do so, so I doubt I'll speak to her again for quite a long time. I can only hope she doesn't become too bitter over my sudden disappearance and apparent lack of care for her. It's terrifying to think that I won't be able to see her grow, moving through middle and high school and in the process becoming her own person, even from the sidelines.

A number of attacks on my character, mental and emotional stability, sources of guidance, my psychologist, and my employer followed.

To cap all of this off, I was helpfully informed that no matter what might happen, under no circumstances will I ever be correctly gendered by one of my parents, nor will they at any point accept me during and after my transition. As I left to fly home, the final punch came in the form of an invitation: "We hope we'll see you at Easter."

I don't mean to be dramatic, but it seems to go without saying that I've had a less than stellar couple of days.
And I need to spend a couple of hours on Monday updating my emergency data to ensure someone else has custody over my remains should anything unfortunate happen.
That should be great.



TL;DR: Everything is as perfect as can be. Had ice cream while surrounded by adorable puppies.

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*hugs @Cidisguise *

 

Things have been going well so far, a few annoying little things but overall it's been good.  She's just two years younger but it shows with her attitude so I have to be patient and show her how things really function in the world.

 

Tastes good though :3

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Turns out Walmart thigh-highs fit me perfectly.

8U2bw4Z.jpg

 

....excuse the mess, we are still trying to get everything put away and not having any clothes storage space males it difficult.

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1 hour ago, Rexxie said:

Space males can be really difficult, yeah.

As a rocket scientist I can confirm this to be accurate.

Also bun goes to the beach

L4Cc07X.gif

@An_Arty_Player_Hits_You at some point I will get around to answering your question you asked a page or two back.

 

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Well I have some very good news! Today was my birthday and I got a fantastic present.

 

28_B204_B39_B4033_D73_B204_EBF52_AADCE06

This shirt. It's so cute. =3

I also got a cute necklace with a D20 and a dragon resting on it and some nice clothes. I spent the day with my mother, we went minigolfing and went for snowcones, went to the store with many coupons and then went out for dinner. It was very nice.

Perhaps most importantly I finally got approval to start HRT and picked up my first script today! I think I'm on 50mg Spiro and 2mg Estrodol twice daily for now which will likely be upped in three months. Also with insurance it is quite nice and cheap only 20 USD for a month's worth which is less than I currently pay for my antacid stuff. Anyway yay, I tried to find a cute picture of an excited chick (baby chicken) but those don't seem to really be available.

@An_Arty_Player_Hits_You a while back you asked about voice and hair. My hair is slowly growing I think it is a bit more than 4 inches now which is the longest I think I've ever had it. As for voice I guess I just try to talk in a bit higher pitch and my southern accent comes about a bit stronger. My mother says it is getting better and my reactions are getting more appropriate for a girl which is good. Even with just makeup, wig, and the forms I seem to do a very good job passing which is super awesome. I don't get weird looks or any sort of comments which is pretty great. It probably helps that I'm still short for a girl (1.2 standard deviations below girl norm rather than 3.0 compared to guy norm) but it's still awesome since I can pretty much do whatever within reason without issue like go eat, or do something like see a movie, or go to the store, use the bathroom etc which is really yay =3.

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