YesThatWasAPCR

Shitgiftening - You Shitters Don't Deserve Something Good But Doing It Anyway. Or am I? Edition

68 posts in this topic

Have you ever been laboriously hulling down the old-fashioned way when suddenly you realize: “My life has been a waste! If only I had me some Murican Muscle, I could have saved time and done something useful, like apply rhinestones, studs, and freedom to all those cold war tanks!

Act now and you’ll receive…

XYBJmTZ.jpg

All this for clicking yes on the poll, or Three Equal Payments of 19.99!

Operators Are Standing By!   But only if you act now!   Don't just think it's a great deal, buy now!

 

But wait! There’s more!

Order in the next 8 days and you will receive your own complementary set of Murican Muscle classically (and classy) themed piece of Murican Muscle clothing!”

Image result

You wont see this stuff on any third world dictator.  What better way to enforce freedom, patriotism, and democracy around the world than to say FU to the United States Flag Code!

Act Now!

If you order within the next 10 minutes the Murican Muscle comes with a "Special" crew member, the legendary bald eagle.

Not only does the eagle squawk Jimi Hendrix's version of the Star Spangled Banner for sixth sense, it bequeaths upon the commander the "eagle eye" perk for free! 

 

But Wait There's even more! 

American flags will be flying high not to men mention the new and improved "Wild Turkey" consumable that bequeaths a 15% to overall crew skills!

 

Now how much would you pay?

Order Now, Operators Are Standing By!

Offer Void In EU and SEA. (RU can have as much Murican Muscle as they want!)

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>I was only 9 years old

>I loved America so much, I had all the guns and freedom fries

>I pray to America every night before the US flag, thanking it for the nuclear weapons I've been given

>"America is Freedom", I say, "America is Democracy"

>My Libertarian father hears me and he calls me a tea party activist

>I knew he was just jealous of my loyalty for America

>I called him a Nazi Jew

>He scolds me and sends me to go to community college

>I'm crying now, and my guns are confiscated

>I lay in church and its really cold

>A warmth is moving towards me

>I feel something touch me

>Its America

>I feel so patriotic

>He screams in to my ear "THIS IS MY PAC-3 MISSILE"

>He grabs me with his powerful marine corpsmen and puts me on my economy and diplomacy

>I'm ready

>I spread my demilitarized zone for America

>He penetrates my zone

>It hurts so much but I do it for America

>I can feel my capital burning as my palace starts to explode

>I push against his Air Force

>I want to please America

> He roars a mighty Yankee doodle as he fills my capital with his army

>My dad walks in

>America stares him down in the eye and declares "This is my oil now"

>America leaves through my window on a F-22

>America is Freedom, America is Democracy

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On EU they were going to do a tank with 28 flags, and then they realised the EU was about to lose one of it's flags and 17% of it's GDP, and a tank without 17% was a problem .....

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20 minutes ago, YesThatWasAPCR said:

And I never will. The only perk of being awful at this game.

Ah, but it 'twas promised that you would. Surely you weren't drinking that much to have forgotten :fish:

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I almost want in on this one simply because if Trump wins having this sitting in my garage might help when the secret police are trying to decide if I'm one of "the good ones" a few years down the line. Definitely better sell off all my Chinese tanks at the least.

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This appeals to my inner 'murican.  And as a Texan, I must uphold our feverish love of our country and hatred of anything NOT red, white, and blue.

Plus I was a 90s kid and miss the spangly shirts and pants

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The ballot is confusing .  I will therefore dangle my chad in your general direction.  And I will cast a second vote in the of a dead relative.  Yeah, it's a vote for whatever party you think is conspiring to steal the election.

 

So do I want the tank or not?  Let me tell you about the tank.  Tanks are made in America.  By Americans.  Unless you want Mexicans making your tanks.  Would you want a Mexican tank?  All it would do is take your job and ruin your neighborhood.  So, I'm going to get rid of them.  You watch.  It's going to happen so fast, and APCR is going to pay for it.  

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I can't wait!

 

also  @YesThatWasAPCR why does my buddy @yoyoya2 get 5 extra chances? what'd i miss, *EDIT* He told me in discord, is all gud now

 

also, doing gods work with all the shit gifts you do

o7

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1 hour ago, Kitten said:

Ah, but it 'twas promised that you would. Surely you weren't drinking that much to have forgotten :fish:

I can only play with the aid of alcohol. If U get too drunk I bring out the LeFH clicker.

1 hour ago, Jesse_the_Scout said:

I almost want in on this one simply because if Trump wins having this sitting in my garage might help when the secret police are trying to decide if I'm one of "the good ones" a few years down the line. Definitely better sell off all my Chinese tanks at the least.

If Trump wins I may be hanging off of a shower rod, thus unable to shitgift.

11 minutes ago, Deusmortis said:

The ballot is confusing .  I will therefore dangle my chad in your general direction.  And I will cast a second vote in the of a dead relative.  Yeah, it's a vote for whatever party you think is conspiring to steal the election.

 

So do I want the tank or not?  Let me tell you about the tank.  Tanks are made in America.  By Americans.  Unless you want Mexicans making your tanks.  Would you want a Mexican tank?  All it would do is take your job and ruin your neighborhood.  So, I'm going to get rid of them.  You watch.  It's going to happen so fast, and APCR is going to pay for it.  

So fast it will make your head spin, that I can tell you! 

3 minutes ago, An_Arty_Player_Hits_You said:

I can't wait! also  @YesThatWasAPCR why does my buddy @yoyoya2 get 5 extra chances? what'd i miss

also, doing gods work with all the shit gifts you do

o7

He won the Gasai Yuno shitgifting comp, and I gave him a choice between a crap tank and a 5x chances for this drawing. He chose the 5x chances.

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It just oozes Freedom.  Since I am a Capitalist American Pig-Dog, I shall take your shitgift and say that I earned it the old-fashioned way...I inherited it!  

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This tank deserves to come with its own in-game sound track of various American classics. In a perfect world, enemy tanks would hear those same songs as you approach their position. Nothing like "Born in the U.S.A." blaring over some poor sod's speakers while you face-hug him and force-feed him freedom one APCR round at a time.

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15 minutes ago, Archaic_One said:

The 6th sense sound is an eagle ringing the Liberty Bell with a bottle of Budweiser.

Great idea edited my post.

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