Single Status Update
To the top purples here. Did you ever stop feeling bad? I've been a 3100wn8/61% wr player. Dropped to 57%/2700 and climbing back up but I feel like a total scrub.
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@kolni Bipolar or Borderline would make no sense. My GF has one of those and I always forget which but that's exactly what you are talking about. If you had ADHD the main issue is following through on things. As in you know how to do a thing. You know you should do it but you don't do it unless there is a strong stimulation associated with it (fear/stress are most common). Since I know there are things I could excell at if I didn't have adhd but since I have I have to limit myself to shit that stimulates my dopamine deprived brain - mostly analyzing the shit out of stuff (who though excell could be stimulating), extreme sports and anything that requires quick decisionmaking under process. SO I'm a good analyst and an organizer but tell me to train for something in regular time intervals? Fuck that shit. I will go as far as my talent allows. Thank god I'm not stupid since I can't imagine what it must feel when you're of average inteligence and have the same dopamine low.
I have huge concentration problems when things don’t interest me (pretty much anything that isn’t area that I’m not naturally good at). WoT is a huge outlier in that regard, but it was mostly out of curiousity to try it. Not worth the effort in the long run.
the thing is especially with mental disorders that when you have several is that they get much harder to investigate, double time if they are conflicting. You can attribute an indicator to something but there’s also one on the other end, seemingly canceling it out but it doesn’t work like that at all. It’s just a very intensive roller coaster from one end to the other end. It makes a diagnose very hard to find. First they thought I was just unbelievably depressed and chalked it all up to that, but further in (5 years later) they started evaluating other possibilites and I responded to those treatments much better. It’s honestly just an assumption made by my doctors but that goes for every mental disorder. ADHD treatments are the only things I respond to even remotely positive so the procedure is basically ”if it aint broken…”
It’s very annoying to feel ”everything bores me” along with being obsessive at the same time.
it’s entirely possible that there’s something different, but with the current tools available it’s the best answer they could come up with
there are two different types of bipolar which is basically the same disorder but with entirely different symptoms, it’s a pretty interesting read and a fairly ”solved” disorder due to how effective the medicine for it is considering the gravity of the disorder
the easiest way to describe borderline is being completely ruled by your emotions, a very common trend is threatening suicide to strongarm people into getting their way which is all kinds of problematic
The thing is even with several disorders you will have certain traits that either qualify or disqualify you from something. ADHD is basically too little Dopamine. You can't get over it with OCD.
Though the rest of your symphoms sound like ADHD so maybe you just phrase your "things I'm naturally good at" wrong and maybe you're good at what you can concentrate at. AS in its the other way around you may be talented at many different areas but those are the areas you can concentrate at and work at so they feel like the areas you have the most talent in.