Don't rely on others man. Gotta be strong yourself, to carry another. Once you become strong enough, others will flock to you since you'll have confidence =)
Don't live in the past (comparing yourself from the past to today). There's a great saying...
Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bil Keane
Just playing devils advocate, if you can't see the point of it, aren't you curious to find out?
Basically, it just sounds like you're overwhelmed and feel bad/sorry/pity for yourself. Get back up and brush yourself off. Ever watch Rocky 3? The scene where Rocky lectures his son about life?
When I tried it back in alpha it was a bit sloppy and badly optimized. My system runs WoT at maximum graphics without problems. It is definetly better now, I'm running on very high/ultra without problems. They worked a lot on the optimization, so it should not give you a lot of troubles. Foch with his potatoish pc can run it on medium/high