orzel286

>working in a supermarket
>old lady says that her cart was stolen
>shit got serious, security goes to check monitoring
>he comes back after a while and says that the cart was fucking empty
TOP OF THE TOP OF KEKS.

>working in a supermarket
>old lady says that her cart was stolen
>shit got serious, security goes to check monitoring
>he comes back after a while and says that the cart was fucking empty
TOP OF THE TOP OF KEKS.

>working in a supermarket
>old lady says that her cart was stolen
>shit got serious, security goes to check monitoring
>he comes back after a while and says that the cart was fucking empty
TOP OF THE TOP OF KEKS.

I don't believe that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.

Had my last traditional cigarette this Tuesday. It's... Strange. Started e-smoking, so I still get nicotine, but I feel like I'm missing something. Addictions are bitches. :/

Tfw cleaning up external and accidentally deleted porn stash

Just bought XCOM: Enemy Unknown (the one that came out before XCOM2). After installing, raging about bugs in a tutorial, raging about a crash, going to shopping I gave it another go "until it crashes again".
 
Well, uh, 6 hours later, I finally FORCED myself to quit. That's one hell of addictive shit, I tell ya. And I bought it because a)my pc is a potato, that would have troubles with XCOM2; b)poland poor, can't get into moni and sequel is expensive; c)I watched Jingles' playthrough. DAMN YOU BILLY!
 
Anyway - My epic boob squad is getting better at killing dem aliens. Those girls are so good now, I just can't capture a live outlander, because they just keep obliterating the poor thing when it spawns (I just forget about capturing it and keep setting muh girls on overwatch). DAMN YOU BILLY!

Some of you may know that I HATE SKYRIM SPIDERS WITH PASSION.
 
I just finished watching the latest Jingles vid, thought that I could use a bath, just before I started to fill the bathtub I saw it. A little, white spider sitting inside. Oh. Fuck.
 
A million of "fucks" came through my mind in a split second.
 
Hoping that this little fucker can't swim (or won't explode) I showered him with a 69265863752775986786576523547528 megatons of water down the drain.
Then took my quickest bath ever, constantly looking around for more of them (especially at the ceiling - those fuckers really like coming down from them). And the litany of fucks continued as I hastily took my leave from that cursed place.
 
FUCK SKYRIM, FUCK SPIDERS, FUCK SKYRIM SPIDERS, FUCK MY BATHROOM, FUCK NATURE FOR GIVING BIRTH TO THESE FOUL AND CREEPY CREATURES. T_T

Some of you may know that I HATE SKYRIM SPIDERS WITH PASSION.
 
I just finished watching the latest Jingles vid, thought that I could use a bath, just before I started to fill the bathtub I saw it. A little, white spider sitting inside. Oh. Fuck.
 
A million of "fucks" came through my mind in a split second.
 
Hoping that this little fucker can't swim (or won't explode) I showered him with a 69265863752775986786576523547528 megatons of water down the drain.
Then took my quickest bath ever, constantly looking around for more of them (especially at the ceiling - those fuckers really like coming down from them). And the litany of fucks continued as I hastily took my leave from that cursed place.
 
FUCK SKYRIM, FUCK SPIDERS, FUCK SKYRIM SPIDERS, FUCK MY BATHROOM, FUCK NATURE FOR GIVING BIRTH TO THESE FOUL AND CREEPY CREATURES. T_T

I just want to fuck off to some goddamn jungle and live with fucking apes and elephants and just stay the fuck out of people for the rest of my life. HOW STUPID can one be.....so i'm training in the gym every other day(when i'm not working) and maybe month ago i bought some regular whey protein for shakes....i'm taking a scoop to make a shake and my mom is doing dishes....and she says....you know i heard from that guy that knows that guy that then is a brother of the other guy that knows that other guy(you get the fucking point) she says that that one guy used to "drink" that kind of stuff(she says that stuff because she's fucking clueless what i'm drinking in the first place) and now he's fat as fuck and completely ruined himself...his muscles now look "sick" or whatever the fuck she meant by that and that her mom(my grandma) told her that it's not healthy and that everyone should avoid it.....i completely lost my fucking mind started sperging and cursing...and now she's like,,,,but i'm just saying, you don't have to yell and shout....HOW THE FUCK AM I NOT FUCKING CURSE AND YELL WHEN YOU JUST TOLD ME ONE OF THE MOST RETARDED THINGS I EVER FUCKING HEARD IN MY LIFE.....all those elders are i guess fucking doctors and they absolutely know everything about everything....yes, i'm totally stop working out and stop drinking goddamn whey protein shakes because some old fart moron said it's not healthy...yes it's 100% more healthy to eat shit processed food.....people fuck off and stay the fuck out of me and don't fucking bother me with your stupidity...

Bought, f1 2011 game, it was cheap and I never really played an f1 game. After a few days of failing, crashing, finishing in top 20 (barely), I gave it a go today. Team torro rosso this time, monza, bloody fast track.
And today was the day, I was in the lead after 22 laps, got some nice advantage there, my times were consistent, no troubles.
 
23rd lap, I'm about to double a few guys, aaaaaaaaand a crash. No, I didn't wreck the car. The game crashed.
STUPID GAME, I FINALLY HAVE A DECENT RACE AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME WIN ONCE FFS.

Bought, f1 2011 game, it was cheap and I never really played an f1 game. After a few days of failing, crashing, finishing in top 20 (barely), I gave it a go today. Team torro rosso this time, monza, bloody fast track.
And today was the day, I was in the lead after 22 laps, got some nice advantage there, my times were consistent, no troubles.
 
23rd lap, I'm about to double a few guys, aaaaaaaaand a crash. No, I didn't wreck the car. The game crashed.
STUPID GAME, I FINALLY HAVE A DECENT RACE AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME WIN ONCE FFS.

Bought, f1 2011 game, it was cheap and I never really played an f1 game. After a few days of failing, crashing, finishing in top 20 (barely), I gave it a go today. Team torro rosso this time, monza, bloody fast track.
And today was the day, I was in the lead after 22 laps, got some nice advantage there, my times were consistent, no troubles.
 
23rd lap, I'm about to double a few guys, aaaaaaaaand a crash. No, I didn't wreck the car. The game crashed.
STUPID GAME, I FINALLY HAVE A DECENT RACE AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME WIN ONCE FFS.

Time to delete WoT once for all. 
 

Today I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her tits when she said "Would you press one? ...so I did. 

#skyrimthings
 
What's THE worst enemy? Hmmm... Draugr? Nah, death lords can be tough on lower levels and/or in numbers with their shouts when going for a straight fight. Dragon priests?  Glass cannons, can do stupid shit at times. Dragons? I want one as a pet. Falmer? Sneaking the shit out of them is ez. Werebears? Same as death lords but without shouts.Hmmmm.... Spiders?
 
Nope. Nopenopenopenopenopenopenope, I'm out of here, I'd rather get a fus ro dah propelled trip out of the throat of the world to the plains  below without stops inbetween than fight those CREEPY things.

Apparently beef sticks, double chocolate muffins, tacos, cheesits, pizza, frozen yogurt and vodka dont go well together in a single meal... I claim this toilet as my throne and this plunger as my scepter. Call me SHITLORD! LORD OF SHIT! Brb, Dying of dysentery
In the event of my death I leave my account to @Zepherex
~With love, shitlord
<my face right now
 
 

MY FUCKING SHITLORD OF A LITTLE BROTHER FUCKING DOWNLOADED AND INSTALLED FUCKING VIRUSES TO MY FUCKING GAMING PC BECAUSE HE FUCKING THOUGHT "HEROES AND GENERALS GOLD HACK FREE" WAS OBVIOUSLY LEGIT AND GUESS WHAT? 
IM THE ONE GETTING FUCKING IN TROUBLE FOR BEING FUCKING PISSED OFF AT HIM AND HES GETTING REASSURED HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
 
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Turns out PvE pubbies are a special kind of dumb. Why am I just now realizing this? 

Playing arty = Unsportsmanlike Conduct

Yay, got my pc back! And playing skyrim for the first time, HOLY SHIT WHY IS THIS GAME SO ADDICTIVE?
 
Meanwhile wg tries to buy me back with fv4202 mission. LOLNOPE, grind 450k dmg in 10 days on tiers 8-10 where the most cancerous a0 shittflinging clickbots are? I'd love to fus ro dah the person who thought it's a good mission off the fucking cliff.

So, the new star wars movie. Well, imo - the force didn't awaken. Pretty much tl;dr version, because this movie isn't worth many words.
It's a generic action movie which was made to fit into sw franchise, an obvious copy of new hope that is in every way worse. Jokes are stupid (good thing there's not many of them), characters lack... Character (what's worse even the old ones were transformed into flat "do the things required by the scenario then just gtfo" devices), death of one major character was seen from miles away, one poorly executed vision scene throws away all the mystery for anyone who has more than one braincell. Two seated tie fighter. Big(ger) bad is a Gollum.
jar jar/10, FU disney for killing eu for this shit. I'd rather have Thrawn than a FUCKING GOLLUM.
 

So, the new star wars movie. Well, imo - the force didn't awaken. Pretty much tl;dr version, because this movie isn't worth many words.
It's a generic action movie which was made to fit into sw franchise, an obvious copy of new hope that is in every way worse. Jokes are stupid (good thing there's not many of them), characters lack... Character (what's worse even the old ones were transformed into flat "do the things required by the scenario then just gtfo" devices), death of one major character was seen from miles away, one poorly executed vision scene throws away all the mystery for anyone who has more than one braincell. Two seated tie fighter. Big(ger) bad is a Gollum.
jar jar/10, FU disney for killing eu for this shit. I'd rather have Thrawn than a FUCKING GOLLUM.
 

So, the new star wars movie. Well, imo - the force didn't awaken. Pretty much tl;dr version, because this movie isn't worth many words.
It's a generic action movie which was made to fit into sw franchise, an obvious copy of new hope that is in every way worse. Jokes are stupid (good thing there's not many of them), characters lack... Character (what's worse even the old ones were transformed into flat "do the things required by the scenario then just gtfo" devices), death of one major character was seen from miles away, one poorly executed vision scene throws away all the mystery for anyone who has more than one braincell. Two seated tie fighter. Big(ger) bad is a Gollum.
jar jar/10, FU disney for killing eu for this shit. I'd rather have Thrawn than a FUCKING GOLLUM.