Bun's thread of Transitional Cataloging and discussion (and shenanigans).

[Shackram 4,285]

http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2015/04/25/crash_course_an_apology_to_the_transgender_community.html

[Shackram 4,285]

[AnArmyofBun 1,122]

"Aw yiss."

[Lert 398]

[ThePowerOfLove 203]

Hi Bun.

Something's probably up with your Gofundme account, it's saying that you need to get something sorted out when I try to proceed to payment. You might want to log in to take a look.

Please let me give you money.

[AnArmyofBun 1,122]

Hi Bun.

Something's probably up with your Gofundme account, it's saying that you need to get something sorted out when I try to proceed to payment. You might want to log in to take a look.

Please let me give you money.

Thank you so much for informing me. I had no idea. It should be fixed now. I'll be posting an update video tomorrow. I missed an email for their payment provider. Makes sense they would lock it.

Should be fine now.

[ThePowerOfLove 203]

Thank you so much for informing me. I had no idea. It should be fixed now. I'll be posting an update video tomorrow. I missed an email for their payment provider. Makes sense they would lock it.

Should be fine now.

Done. Keep at it.

[AnArmyofBun 1,122]

Done. Keep at it.

Thank you so much. I'm In bed. Need sleep. I'm so grateful to you. All of you.

[Laceylace 30]

Why do you want money for being trans? Pay for your own surgery. I can understand wanting to be the other gender but don't try to get sympathy for being trans and "oh the shirts don't fit ;~;". I've dealt with a fair share of trans in the army and I don't care what gender they are or what gender they want to be. None of them go around complaining about it or make a gofundme so they can get other people to pay for it. If they really wanted to be another gender then they'd work for it themselves. You may seem nice and all on the outside but what I see is someone wanting attention. Everyone has problems but they don't go around making a patreon or some crap saying "please give me 1000 dollars so I feel better about myself because I can't be bothered to do it myself". You don't seem that bad off. You want it you should work for it.

[HurricaneLane 197]

Wow Lacey. Wow. Why the hell do you care if somebody asks for help to feel comfortable in their own body? Do you complain if people help a drug addict get clean and can only do it because other people care enough? Do you complain about other people feeling happy and comfortable? Cause if you do, you have no place here. As far as I can tell, Bun put it up because people were telling her they wanted to help. Oh and another thing? People aren't always well enough off to do want they want to do, or feel they need to do. Sorry if this seems a little angry, but who the hell do you think you are to come in here and judge people who are only being honest and friendly?

[Laceylace 30]

Wow Lacey. Wow. Why the hell do you care if somebody asks for help to feel comfortable in their own body? Do you complain if people help a drug addict get clean and can only do it because other people care enough? Do you complain about other people feeling happy and comfortable? Cause if you do, you have no place here. As far as I can tell, Bun put it up because people were telling her they wanted to help. Oh and another thing? People aren't always well enough off to do want they want to do, or feel they need to do. Sorry if this seems a little angry, but who the hell do you think you are to come in here and judge people who are only being honest and friendly?

The entire page is a sob story. Drug addicts don't need help from others. If they want to be clean they actually have to do it. Rehab can't do anything it seems. People relapse so easily. Just like people in world of tanks. If they want to be good they can go and watch a replay and all but in the end they actually need to fight and think for themselves. I have no complaints with someone wanting to be the opposite gender even though my personal thoughts tell me otherwise. But all I'M saying is that he should actually work towards it and not rely on others to do it. I'll make a gofundme account because I can't spend 24/7 using my money to buy warhammer 40k armies so I'll make one "Donate to Laceylace because life is hard and I need others to do what I want for me". That's not a way to do things. The fact that the entire page is just an enormous sob story is the thing that made me angry. 

[CiDisguise 60]

Lane is very much correct- this isn't a case of some strange sense of entitlement or anything of that nature- if you'd bothered to read the thread, you'd see that the amount of time it took to convince Bun that this wasn't an unreasonable request was not insignificant.

Please, if you're going to be unpleasant, do it for a genuinely good reason and with facts on your side.

Additionally:

An error occurred

You have reached your quota of negative votes for the day

 

[CiDisguise 60]

he

Missed this the first time through.

Short version of a very long rant:

No.

Just no.

Have a nice day, and I hope your rapidly-approaching encounter with moderation goes well.

[Laceylace 30]

Missed this the first time through.

Short version of a very long rant:

No.

Just no.

Have a nice day, and I hope your rapidly-approaching encounter with moderation goes well.

Solono already hates me. Mainly because I'm a bad@trolling, Off-Topic posting person. 

 

Do I have to watch my pronouns now? Bun is a He until he has the surgery which would then make HE a SHE. Am I wrong?

[CiDisguise 60]

Solono already hates me. Mainly because I'm a bad@trolling, Off-Topic posting person. 

 

Do I have to watch my pronouns now? Bun is a He until he has the surgery which would then make HE a SHE. Am I wrong?

Yes. Twice.

If you don't understand why by now, in this thread of all places, there is little hope that any argument of mine will convince you of anything.

Again, have fun with moderation.

[tefftorbes 866]

Why don't you ask Bun what Bun wants to be called?

[Laceylace 30]

Why don't you ask Bun what Bun wants to be called?

Because this isn't tumblr and people shouldn't get offended by it. Next this thread will turn into SJWs. I really don't want that. I don't think anyone wants that. 

 

 

Yes. Twice.

If you don't understand why by now, in this thread of all places, there is little hope that any argument of mine will convince you of anything.

Again, have fun with moderation.

No. 

Again, Solono has left. I'm still waiting. I know it will come. You can say that like you're going to be victorious but you're not. 

Bun is a He until he has the surgery which would then make HE a SHE. Am I wrong?

[Solono 5,518]

Because this isn't tumblr and people shouldn't get offended by it. Next this thread will turn into SJWs. I really don't want that. I don't think anyone wants that. 

 

You say you have dealt with trans people yet demonstrate, almost skillfully, your dealings have been forced or ancillary at best. You lack perspective, and your callous, mindless disregard of simple things reinforces that.

 

Telling people they shouldn't get offended because "reasons" is idiotic as hell, primarily because you taking offense to her GoFundMe is the whole reason you decided to enter this thread again. So pitch the irregular, and singular reasoning.

 

Also, interesting extremist fallacy you have going on there, considering that rhetoric doesn't even exist here.

 

Oh, also, enjoy your RO since you seem to be expecting it anyway.

[CiDisguise 60]

And peace returns to the thread.

[AnArmyofBun 1,122]

Why do you want money for being trans? Pay for your own surgery. I can understand wanting to be the other gender but don't try to get sympathy for being trans and "oh the shirts don't fit ;~;". I've dealt with a fair share of trans in the army and I don't care what gender they are or what gender they want to be. None of them go around complaining about it or make a gofundme so they can get other people to pay for it. If they really wanted to be another gender then they'd work for it themselves. You may seem nice and all on the outside but what I see is someone wanting attention. Everyone has problems but they don't go around making a patreon or some crap saying "please give me 1000 dollars so I feel better about myself because I can't be bothered to do it myself". You don't seem that bad off. You want it you should work for it.

 

Hi Lacy.  Welcome to my thread and the discussion.  I appreciate you being willing to speak out about how you feel.  I know it's not always easy given you have a dissenting opinion.  However, when I opened this thread months ago I said that I wanted that.  Or at least, opinions that differed from mine.  So, thank you for that.  I'll address what you've written bit by bit.  I've had a long few days with little sleep so pardon if I miss anything.  I know you've been RO'd but, please do read when you get the chance if you want to. 

 

I don't want money for being trans.  I've never wanted money for being trans.  I don't want money for surgery either.  I simply want to burden my family less.  I fully admit that I have very little prospects in my life beyond my personality.  I understand your point of view, however I'd like to share with you why I already work a full time job taking care of two adult relationships, a three year old half the week, myself ontop of it, and anything that I can take off the shoulders of my loved ones.  These aren't excuses as to why I don't have my own means.  They never were intended to be.  They simply are what they are.  I was a poor student in general.  Lazy.  Emotionally unstable.  Depressed.  I don't really know how to express to you how crippling this can be when you're tasked with something you can't make your brain care about. 

 

I've spent all the money I could dig up myself so far on my transition.  I've secured half my costs via my family and friends who care and are willing to help me.  On my own?  I'd probably never be able to afford this.  The monitary barrier that comes with surgical transition is massive.  It is something that hurts the trans community in every spectrum.  Always. I'm not bad off, no.  However - I have been.  I'm not anymore.  I've raised just about 800 dollars due to the generosity and staggering kindness of the people here.  To which I can never express enough thanks.  I still feel the gofundme is selfish, however I decided to give it a shot.  It's not about being more or less privledged than anyone else.  It's being willing to do what it takes, whatever that may be.  Open a patreon, gofundme, whatever the hell it may be.  No one is required to give to me, or anyone else.  They do so of their own choosing because they feel it's worth it, for whatever reason.  My efforts on my end will not cease.  I already expressed any funding is to ease what my loved ones have already offered.  Nothing else.

 

The entire page is a sob story. Drug addicts don't need help from others. If they want to be clean they actually have to do it. Rehab can't do anything it seems. People relapse so easily. Just like people in world of tanks. If they want to be good they can go and watch a replay and all but in the end they actually need to fight and think for themselves. I have no complaints with someone wanting to be the opposite gender even though my personal thoughts tell me otherwise. But all I'M saying is that he should actually work towards it and not rely on others to do it. I'll make a gofundme account because I can't spend 24/7 using my money to buy warhammer 40k armies so I'll make one "Donate to Laceylace because life is hard and I need others to do what I want for me". That's not a way to do things. The fact that the entire page is just an enormous sob story is the thing that made me angry. 

 

There certainly is some sadness in the words yes.  However, reading them are hardly as difficult as it was for Signy, my parents, Priya, my friends having to experience it.  My story is not that much different than many trans people you could talk to, or probably a lot of people.  However, what makes it different is that it's mine.  I'm sorry it's not all butterflies and buttercups.  However, you've missed a great deal of the joy that's been posted here.  The friends, the enjoyment.  The jokes.  There's a lot more than sadness.  You shrinking my endevour to deal with what fate delt me to buying 40k armies is a little insulting. 

 

Life is hard, for everyone.  You continue to miss the actual point of the Gofundme.  I will repeat myself.  It's to ease the burden on my loved ones.  I've done all I can at this point in time.  My life is dictated by the others with me.  One of us is in school for her masters degree.  The other is about to return to college for her electrical engineering degree.  I choose, yes choose.  To stay and make things comfortable for them when they return.  I bring them joy.  Is this enough for them to pay my way?  Apparently it is.  It's nothing new in any stretch of the imagination.  I understand why you're unhappy, however I don't understand your comparisons or your expression of having no complaints on the subject yet all of your thoughts say otherwise, which would express clear complaints. 

 

 Life is hard - however looking to others for generosity or strength does not make you weak.  It makes you open to others.  We give when we can, and don't when we can't. 

 

Solono already hates me. Mainly because I'm a bad@trolling, Off-Topic posting person. 

 

Do I have to watch my pronouns now? Bun is a He until he has the surgery which would then make HE a SHE. Am I wrong?

 

I would appreciate if you called me a She.  I'm not really much of a male in every aspect other than the unfortunate growth between my legs.  To me, it's no different than a tumor that causes me discomfort every day of my waking life.  You deal with it.  Like I have.  However, I am certainly not a he.  He is defined by more than what sex organs you have.  He, or She, is defined by you.  Your attitude, your mannerisms, your way of being WHO YOU ARE.  It's more than that but, I honestly don't have the strength to go deeper into it right now.  I'd be glad to at a later date however.

 

You define you.  Not your genitalia.  To me?  My genitalia prevent me from being fully comfortable.  I'm currently in the process of correcting it.  I see therapists every week, starting with a new one shortly to handle the pre-checks required for surgery.  Which, is years long.  It's not been an easy process. 

 

Because this isn't tumblr and people shouldn't get offended by it. Next this thread will turn into SJWs. I really don't want that. I don't think anyone wants that. 

 

 

No. 

Again, Solono has left. I'm still waiting. I know it will come. You can say that like you're going to be victorious but you're not. 

Bun is a He until he has the surgery which would then make HE a SHE. Am I wrong?

 

People can be offended by whatever they want.  I will say this.  I'm very pleased to inform you that you're not in control of who wins what or loses what.  There is no victory, or loss here.  Just your opinion and mine, and others.  To me?  I'm a she.  To them?  I'm a she.  To you?  I'm a He, until I have a vagina?  Is that all that a woman is to you?  Is that all that makes her?  The vagina?  Not anything else? 

 

I'm glad I disagree with you.  Furthermore.  I'm glald that there are no winners or losers here.  Just people expressing their opinions.  Some who choose to give.  Some who feel uncomfortable asking to be given to.  Others who may want to ask to have people give but can't yet, and others who may feel that it's wrong.

 

In the end.  Nothing will change.  People will or they won't.

 

Love - Bun.

[Dlur 2,350]

Bun, you have so much patience.  If you ever feel like you've got some to spare, send some my way

 

I'd have probably just called Lacylace a stupid fucking cunt and left it at that.  But that's me...not really a people person and I don't have much for patience.

[AnArmyofBun 1,122]

Bun, you have so much patience.  If you ever feel like you've got some to spare, send some my way

 

I'd have probably just called Lacylace a stupid fucking cunt and left it at that.  But that's me...not really a people person and I don't have much for patience.

 

My patience is the result of a lifetime of biting my tongue and saying what I know needs to be said instead of what I want to say.  I learned that it's better to just be good rather than respond emotionally and strike back at someone who chooses to attack you, or even shares a difference of opinion.  In my view, violence is reserved for self defense.  Verbal or otherwise.  You shouldn't call lacy that.  There's no point or need.  I'm no more angry at Lacy than I am at my left big toe nail which broke today.  Which means I can't wear open toed shoes tomorrow. 

 

But, like all broken things.  We simply take the steps to repair it.

[Elvenlord 248]

Bun,

 

  I have a lot of respect for you. this incident only continues to prove to me, that I don't have enough respect for you. I am with Dlur, I don't have the patience to deal with ignorance, nor bitchiness. So, I would have just ended up calling Lacy names and been done with it. The fact that you manage to speak to a person, no matter how rude they have been, in the same educational tone floors me. I wish I had a 1/10th of the patience and willingness to continue to deal with people like lacey, If I did I might enjoy my job more...

[SwedeShooter 16]

Bun wins at public communications 101.

[FrodoTSolo 253]

I get where Lace is coming from a bit.  There are some sob stories in here that have very little to do with transitioning at all.  For example (and I am sorry to pick on you), Alesia's financial problems have NOTHING to do with the topic at hand.  This could have happened to anybody.  I am loathe to even bring it up, and I certainly don't want Alesia to stop posting in this thread for what I am stating.  And that is the key Lace, this thread is an outlet for trans to post their triumphs and pitfalls in life, and those may have nothing specific to deal with transitioning.  Alesia's financial problems, while at face value may have nothing to do with trans issues... but the problems may dissuade her from the upcoming burden of costs and whatnot.  So they are related in a roundabout way.

 

To put it to you another way, if this was a weight-loss thread (or a general get healthy thread) would you behave the same way about the positive reassurances in this thread?  The way to go, progress made, etc towards what can only be perceived as a universal positive topic (getting healthy).  I feel that your negativity in this thread is based on the concept that you are against transitioning (AND THIS IS A GUESS).  

 

Personally, I had a very difficult decision in if I would donate money for Bun's operations.  I sat there for a while thinking about it and how I *HATE* asking for money and have not done it once in my adult life.  I seek EVERY method there is to get around this, including raiding my retirement funds, selling off assets, etc.  At the stage of life I am in now, I am comfortable and have no money worries.  It took me a while, but I made it.  I now have the ability to "waste" money, (and I don't mean that the gift was a waste, just that I no longer need to save everything and I can buy gifts, trivial things, pixel tanks, etc).  So I thought, well I don't *NEED* this money and Bun does (so does WotLabs so I donated here too).  

 

As I have said repeatedly in this thread, I don't understand all of this stuff.  It is foreign to me.  I am sure I have said things that is offensive due to my ignorance.  I ask forgiveness in my harshness and my crassness.  It does not mean that I now understand, I find this topic interesting.  And the overlaying part of this is just a common set of people are discussing hardships related to a common goal.