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AnArmyofBun

Bun's thread of Transitional Cataloging and discussion (and shenanigans).

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On 9/8/2016 at 1:46 PM, AnArmyofBun said:

I had *another* round of tissue cauterization and frankly I'm kind of sick of that part of my body being seared with Silver nitrate.  For those that do not know - silver nitrate is applied to Granulation Tissue when managing wound care after a major wound or surgery - and this is a Major wound.  The tissue is blood filled spongy junk that is meant to supply food to the healthy tissue beneath, however if it grows to be a problem it is cauterized to prevent the area from thickening or something horrific.  So, either way it's not fun and it's painful and it's as disgusting as you'd think.

That sounds gross and really interesting at the same time.

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I know a few vets from our recent wars in the Middle East who have lost fingers, feet or legs in combat.  Two of them still experience "ghost" feelings in the missing extremity from time to time - have you experienced anything like that with your removed penis and testicles?

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On September 14, 2016 at 0:18 AM, BiggieD61 said:

I know a few vets from our recent wars in the Middle East who have lost fingers, feet or legs in combat.  Two of them still experience "ghost" feelings in the missing extremity from time to time - have you experienced anything like that with your removed penis and testicles?

 

Well. It was pretty interesting. Going into an amputation as part of the process I knew it was coming and I'd wondered if I'd have that experience. I did. It was almost immediate when I woke up in my room. My entire hip and groin area was numb yet somehow hurt. But I could feel it was numb and the shape had changed. I could feel my testicles or my penis itching. The amazing part of the sensation was when id move the garment I had to wear. The position of the "itch" would not change. 

Literally like the brain could not process the lack of said organ and just had it be. A phantom. Pass through and all. It didn't make me uncomfortable and it went away after a few days. I've never had that experience again. Though I do admit sometimes taking a shower in the morning I reach and grab air to you know. Wash. I always go "oh right."  Kinda funny when you're half awake. 

My phantom limb was really interesting to experience. The way the brain presents a rudimentary feeling of the missing part. Before it adjusts. I can't imagine what it's like to have it be an arm. It must be far more traumatic to not go in knowing it was coming. 

On September 12, 2016 at 10:54 PM, Inciatus said:

That sounds gross and really interesting at the same time.

It is. 

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Thank you for answering that one Bun, you seem to have it all in the right perspective moving forward with your life.  I imagine it was incredibly hard to work your way through this entire process, I pray that you find the life you want and hope for.

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On September 20, 2016 at 6:32 PM, BiggieD61 said:

Thank you for answering that one Bun, you seem to have it all in the right perspective moving forward with your life.  I imagine it was incredibly hard to work your way through this entire process, I pray that you find the life you want and hope for.

You're welcome!  I try to keep things in the right frame of mind. It's not the easiest thing in the world. I've seen a slew of doctors lately. Thyroid this. Blood draw that. I passed out and threw up water today after they took my vials. 

Not even to say about the stuff I have to maybe do with the surgeon treating the other stuff. It's not easy. I've found the life I want. I just have to fight to keep it. 

On September 20, 2016 at 2:01 PM, Inciatus said:

Some explanations of how bun communicates to her minions

otJhsLC.jpg

 

On September 21, 2016 at 9:49 PM, Inciatus said:

Image result for alert bunny

@AnArmyofBun has a sense that this thread might suddenly get more active again.

These are adorable. My post senses are tingling. ..Or is that something else. 

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Actually @AnArmyofBun I do remember dealing with application of the silver nitrate stuff when one of our horses had to have his eye removed. I think we used a powder though and blew it out of a little bottle onto the healing region rather than a paste (though I feel like we applied something first so it would stick but I cant remember because it was a long time ago). It was actually quite a pretty color (though didn't look great on the horse though especially after he fell and tore off half of the side of his face (that was a pretty unpleasant period)). 

15 hours ago, AnArmyofBun said:

These are adorable. My post senses are tingling. ..Or is that something else. 

It could be said our resident chart maker might need to significantly update our chart.

Picture relevant if you stretch your imagination and might become more clear later. I just wanted a picture of a bunny on some excel spreadsheets but no I can't have that.

cute-bunny-backgrounds-14.jpg 

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Figured I'd write my first update in...forever.

 

Tl;dr of it is that I am not OK.

in fact

MIcnm1R.gif

 

Been living back with my family for over a year now, depression is back full force but I won't ever tell my family about it.  I have it handled but I spend most of the day just...wishing I wasn't I guess.

During my time in North Dakota I dropped down to 200 pounds and felt pretty great but back with my mom and her abuse I'm back up to ~270 and feel like shit.  Grew my hair out and am thinking about letting it's natural curls come out but with my current appearance I'm disgusted with myself no matter how I look. 

Family is on the brink of loosing everything, business, home, everything.  I'm trying to get out so hard but nothing seems to be working.  This Thursday I broke down so hard I was laughing and sobbing at the same time until I started dry heaving (nothing to come up since I hadn't ate in 36 hours).  The stress is killing me...literally.  Between my family and self loathing I'm having a hard time hanging on. 

I just want a job, somewhere where I can see a therapist and get help.  That's all I'm asking out of life and it's refusing to give it to me.

 

That's really all I can think to say I guess. 

At this point I just want out of this situation, a chance to get on my feet, but at this point it would an all or nothing ordeal, and bumming a couch off someone.

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Alesia,

This is far from optimal, but I ask that you keep it in mind:
I'm sitting here doing little, and if you need someone to talk to that would be a much better use of my time.
I don't claim to have an answer to your problems, but at the very least I'm happy to listen.


I'm here. I'll be here for a while, probably working on some silly chart.


Regardless of that, please don't ever forget that when you're in a deep valley, the only direction the future can carry you is up.

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8 hours ago, Alesia said:

Figured I'd write my first update in...forever.

 

Tl;dr of it is that I am not OK.

in fact

 

  Hide contents

 

MIcnm1R.gif

 

 

Been living back with my family for over a year now, depression is back full force but I won't ever tell my family about it.  I have it handled but I spend most of the day just...wishing I wasn't I guess.

During my time in North Dakota I dropped down to 200 pounds and felt pretty great but back with my mom and her abuse I'm back up to ~270 and feel like shit.  Grew my hair out and am thinking about letting it's natural curls come out but with my current appearance I'm disgusted with myself no matter how I look. 

Family is on the brink of loosing everything, business, home, everything.  I'm trying to get out so hard but nothing seems to be working.  This Thursday I broke down so hard I was laughing and sobbing at the same time until I started dry heaving (nothing to come up since I hadn't ate in 36 hours).  The stress is killing me...literally.  Between my family and self loathing I'm having a hard time hanging on. 

I just want a job, somewhere where I can see a therapist and get help.  That's all I'm asking out of life and it's refusing to give it to me.

 

That's really all I can think to say I guess. 

At this point I just want out of this situation, a chance to get on my feet, but at this point it would an all or nothing ordeal, and bumming a couch off someone.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.  You summed it up nicely however in your final words.  It's all or nothing and staying with someone in the LGBT network.  If that's your only option than take it.  The alternative isn't even remotely worth it.  I'm not telling you to run off into the wild.  But I'm telling you to do whatever you have to - to get out.  Don't let them sink you with them.  I don't know who you know, or where they are.  However - I know you know Someone who can help you.  Who can give you shelter.  You can get back on your feet and you will. You have to yank yourself out of the sludge that you're caught it, and make a break for it.

What else can we do?  I wish I could give you a room, but I myself don't have my own place anymore.  I won't for a good while.  Someone you know has a place, just express how you need it, desperately. 

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@Alesia that is really sad, I suppose we all thought/were hoping your silence meant everything was hunky-dory. I'd love to give you a hug (if nothing else I imagine you would be really soft and squishy like a giant plush pillow :3). If you need someone to talk to vac and I are on often and as vac said we probably won't have the answers to your problems but venting can be very helpful.

What marketable skills do you have? You could probably bum a couch off me if you wanted though I would have to check the rules of my lease, also I seem to recall you being in the Pacific Northwest which means I am literally almost as far away as possible while still being in the contiguous 48 states. 

Have this picture of a SeaBun to cheer you up.

cute-bunny-sea-slug-jorunna-parva-11.jpg

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@AnArmyofBun  There's maybe one person but I don't have any friends really, not that are local to the west coast.

 

@Inciatus  I do have some marketable skills actually, I did ER admissions for a while and am well versed in the STAR medical system among others, and I've been running what basically amounts to my own store for a year.  (I do everything but own the deed to the damn thing)  I would have to think long and hard (hue) about moving to the east coast.  I've only been as far east as No-Dak and the culture change was jarring to say the least.  If anything I'd be closer to my SO I guess.

 

Woke up at 5am to my Mom screaming at me, grand 2 hours of sleep.  Feel physically ill and my chest is tight.  Bleh

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2 hours ago, Alesia said:

 

@Inciatus  I do have some marketable skills actually, I did ER admissions for a while and am well versed in the STAR medical system among others, and I've been running what basically amounts to my own store for a year.  (I do everything but own the deed to the damn thing)  I would have to think long and hard (hue) about moving to the east coast.  I've only been as far east as No-Dak and the culture change was jarring to say the least.  If anything I'd be closer to my SO I guess.

Well that's good at least. Unfortunately I don't know of any people looking for people in those areas. I'm sure there is quite a bit of a culture difference as we are literally almost 5000km apart which is literally almost the distance from Lisbon to Rostov. Also I'm glad to hear you and @Solono finally got together.

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32 minutes ago, Inciatus said:

Well that's good at least. Unfortunately I don't know of any people looking for people in those areas. I'm sure there is quite a bit of a culture difference as we are literally almost 5000km apart which is literally almost the distance from Lisbon to Rostov. Also I'm glad to hear you and @Solono finally got together.

I'm with another transgirl atm @Inciatus  :gaytroll:

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You know, you're all making this really quite difficult :P

Anyone else interested in revealing chart-relevant information before Revision 0 is done?
(And confirming that Inky just misread that, presumably?)

 

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Just now, AnArmyofBun said:

I don't think solono is trans. Last I heard his voice was really deep and his dick worked really well. 

I was under the same impression.

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2 minutes ago, AnArmyofBun said:

The chart should be simple. It's my wife and I. That's it now lol. 

I'm looking to integrate more elements of the thread, in order to expand the ability to the chart to help anyone who's just read up to this point keep everything straight.
I made a small attempt at this in the last one by adding a few major contributors, but I'm looking to make that section somewhat more useful in the above scenario.

That said, yeah, the main part of the chart should be pretty easy to work through.

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