Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
EJVH3

My Struggle - The rise and fall of a tanker.

Recommended Posts

A short story about my struggle with tanking, family and work, and how the three battled for my soul.

 

Some of you already know me from long ago as "The Unicum Hunter" in the forums. Others knew me as the founder and commander of [-W-] The Warriors clan, and others as the co-founder and Deputy Commander of [M--M] Millard's Minions. The fact is that I spent the better part of my free time (and not so free time) for over 2 years playing WoT and struggling with finding an identity within the game and forum that I enjoyed and that kept me interesting in the game. During that time I made many friends and enemies alike. At the same time I battled what I saw as an addiction to gaming that highly interfered with my family work life. This struggle for identity and my addiction to the game had a hugely negative impact on my family and work life. In December of 2013 I hit the wall and uninstalled the game and have not played for 10 months now.

 

When I started WoT in November of 2011 I absolutely loved the game, the tanks and the historical aspects. I didn't like the unstructured nature of Random Games at the time and played a lot (first 1500 battles) of Tank Companies in a clan called [Dadco] Dad Company. I was the father of a 2 year old son at the time and though it was a neet Clan concept. Once I got involved with the forums, many of the Unicum Trolls in those days happily let me know how terrible I was and introduced me to the rating systems of that time. I was pretty bad. Somewhere in the 51% win rate and yellow in today's WN8 terms. At that time I stopped playing Tank Companies and vowed to get better fast and to eventually make those Unicums eat their words. The problem was that as I got better and understood the game better I became consumed with becoming Purple myself and trying to embarrass any purple player I came across. 

 

This began an obsessive compulsive time of tanking for me. I would play the game from the time I got home from work until well after midnight on most nights. Remember, I at this time was the father of a 2 years old, and what I didn't tell you is that I am the Director of Sales and Marketing for a midsized technologies firm. Family and work life started suffering badly. This went on for the next year and a half. I was constantly tired and angry. I started blaming the game. Every little aspect of the game, WG and the player base just enraged me. I stopped having fun but would not give up on the game because I was still obsessed.

 

Then in the spring of 2013 I met Millardthemk, he calmed me down and started working on me having fun with the game again and simply making better choices in game. We started M--M Millard's Minions together to share that knowledge and love of the finer details of the game with others. It was a great thing. My problem was that my family and work life was not fixed yet, even though my in game was. During this time we had our daughter (now 2 yrs old) further requiring my efforts in the real world. After many months in the Minions and finally somewhat being at peace with WoT, I had to make the decision to call it quits and work on the real life situations. This was Dec. 2013.

 

Since then I have coached my son's soccer team for two sessions and have had the best year in sales at work in the 6 years I have been Director of Sales and Marketing for this company. My real world life has been great.

 

This morning I walked to my home office before leaving for work and clicked on the "download" button on WoT. I am not sure why yet, nor do I know if I will actually play again or not. I am curious to see what has changed and been added since Dec. 2013. I am pretty sure this is not the right thing to do, but I am hoping that if my curiosity gets the better of me and I do play again, that I have learned my lessons and play calmly, with restraint and in moderation.

 

Let's hope that I am not the one that chases the carrot again. If I do return I realy want to just focus on the finer details of tanking and having fun with the game again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back EJ!  Having a fresh perspective is always good.  Sounds like you have a much healthier outlook these days.  Glad to hear it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The one question I have to ask, if you look at my stats sig, what changed about WN8 in the last 10 months that made me look better on paper even though I haven't played? Somehow the weight in WN8 moved in a way that makes the way I used to play a little bit better? Not that I am purple, but I don't think my stats where solid blue when I left.

 

What does "Resent WN8" cover now. It used to be last 60 days. Obviously that would be nothing for me. Maybe last 1000 battles now or something?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The one question I have to ask, if you look at my stats sig, what changed about WN8 in the last 10 months that made me look better on paper even though I haven't played? Somehow the weight in WN8 moved in a way that makes the way I used to play a little bit better? Not that I am purple, but I don't think my stats where solid blue when I left.

 

What does "Resent WN8" cover now. It used to be last 60 days. Obviously that would be nothing for me. Maybe last 1000 battles now or something?

"Recent" is last ~1000 games.  There were some tweaks to the expected values of the tanks which caused some of the values to change.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Recent" is last ~1000 games.  There were some tweaks to the expected values of the tanks which caused some of the values to change.

 

So basically I played kinda alright for the last 1000 games before I left. I can get that. Now how do I have to play now if I return to get and keep my recent WN8 purple? Did they change my Type59 back to it's glory days and being able to help me pull this off?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing, its not easy talking about personal stuff with internet strangers.  After reading your story, if you do come back set some firm boundaries so that you do not allow this game to hurt your real life work and family.  I would suggest maybe setting a few evenings that you play or "only after the kids are in bed" etc....and then stick to it!  If you find your slipping and playing past what boundaries you set then maybe it's time to re-evaluate if you really need this game in your life.  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to play better, obviously. 

 

Na! That is never the case with me...you already know my denial. :verysmug:

 

The how is what I always failed to totally grasp back in the day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A small piece of advice from a sympathetic soul (made some slightly similar experiences):

Even though you receive acknowledgement in the internet and especially in games and online communities, they are not worth much in the long run.

Start a community for a game, maintain it two years. You get acknowledged. Then the game is discontinued, the community starts to fall apart. Time and effort are more or less wasted.

Start a hobby with your kiddo, maintain it two years. . You get acknowledged. Then your offspring either continues with the hobby or not, but the time and effort you put in your relationship is invaluable. and will last a life long!

 

Maybe an exaggerated example and an uncomfortable truth, but this thought will keep you from becoming too tied (addicted) to the digital life.

 

Apart from this: Welcome (back). Always good to have someone with such an experience like yours around to keep the balance,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We never saw eye to eye EJVH and I remember when you left, but I do respect you a bit more for writing what you did. Just keep a zen approach to the game and you should be fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We never saw eye to eye EJVH and I remember when you left, but I do respect you a bit more for writing what you did. Just keep a zen approach to the game and you should be fine.

 

No one, other than a few people that actually played with me in game, could see eye to eye with me in the WoT forums. I made up 99% of the crap I talked out of boredom and bad humor. In game I was pretty much a normal likable dude. I will have to say that I started getting pretty ticked off in game towards the end there, stopped platooning and just rage played a lot. That is why I may have to do a small test to start off to see if I actually want to play long term again.

 

Any advice on how to do that? I fear I will be really bad in my return since I have been away so long and that in itself might frustrate me back away. I would say that maybe platooning with some great players to get me in the swing of things again quickly, but I doubt great players will take the risk to help a dude out. I remember very little of that willingness to help other from the better player base. Outside of M--M that is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read some basic guides, freshen up your knowledge a bit. Play some mid tier stuff (5 - 7) at first where mistakes aren't punished so immediately and hard as in top tiers and there is still a semblance of actual play happening unlike low tiers. You already understand that you're gonna be rusty for a bit, so that's that taken care of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read some basic guides, freshen up your knowledge a bit. Play some mid tier stuff (5 - 7) at first where mistakes aren't punished so immediately and hard as in top tiers and there is still a semblance of actual play happening unlike low tiers. You already understand that you're gonna be rusty for a bit, so that's that taken care of.

 

Is the KV1S still a viable T6 tanks to start off with? VK3601? I have no clue how the tanks perform today.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KV-1S is now a tier 5 heavy. I couldn't tell you how well it performs in that roll, i've not driven it and haven't spoken with enough people who have. VK3601 is now a tier 6 heavy and considered very meh. IMO current tier 6 heavies worth pursuing are KV-85 (use the 100mm), T-150 (though slow) and M6.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KV-1S just got nerfed last patch, got converted to the "KV-85" with a heavily nerfed 122 mm. The VK3601H is a shadow of its former self. What kind of tank would you like to play, and I may be able to point you in the right direction.

 

Oh, and you could always sign up as a legionnaire for strongholds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing, really interesting read. 

 

I found myself really addicted to LOL and then WOT in the past. I was playing after coming back from work until late in night, I was eating by PC etc. Life 'forced me' to take more balanced approach. In fact I forced myself by getting hard earned promotion at work. I found that because of commuting and long working hours I am simply to tired to play, and even if I launched the game I would probably suck at it because of it so I am not tempted to play. I found that playing WOT on weekends is absolutely enough and during the week I have time to be with my wife, even if we just watch tv together. WOT is very stressful to play as you get annoyed at your teams quickly, as I play mostly solo. When I play less oftenly I don't get annoyed by the game so easily and I enjoy the game more.

 

I hope you find the right balance especially that your family needs you :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only thing you'll learn at tier 6 is how much better tier 8 tanks are, and how much worse tier 4 tanks are. 

 

My favorite place to play before I left was Tier 8 anyway. I have no problem starting back there. If I recall, I have a Type59 and an IS-3 in Tier 8. Maybe a Tiger 2 still. Will have to see when I get home tonight. Do those tanks still play well?

 

Is this game still World of Tank Destroyers? I do remember that is where the game was heading when I left. It also looks like Tank destroyers where the only things added in that time away also.

KV-1S just got nerfed last patch, got converted to the "KV-85" with a heavily nerfed 122 mm. The VK3601H is a shadow of its former self. What kind of tank would you like to play, and I may be able to point you in the right direction.

 

Oh, and you could always sign up as a legionnaire for strongholds.

 

I was historically a medium tanks (Vk3601, type59, t-54) or fast heavy tank (KV1S, IS-3) player back in the day. I just like to shoot and scoot. Hated lights and got easily bored with slow heavies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Addendum, in post #12 you're already back to your party line - that you need great players in your platoon to get you on track. Locus of control internal please, because no one has just absorbed WoT skills via osmosis without applying their own brains to the problem. Having a readily available source of knowledge certainly helps, but this website works pretty well for that also. 

 

As far as the meta goes, TDs were nerfed and the maps re-worked to eliminate most common long firing lines (except Prok). Its now World of Funnels where local superiority and brawling skills and random blob strength are the keys. Its probably an improvement over vision TD games of 10 months ago. I was off from Dec to July, so I understand this will be an adjustment for you, but its mostly for the better. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Type would probably be the best place to start. The closer-quarters combat plus new terrain dips make it incredibly easy to get hull-down and brawl with it. Standard 8s get run over by 10s these days, and TDs aren't as strong as they used to be. 

 

Pref 8s and 7s are probably the sweet spot for learning curve.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Addendum, in post #12 you're already back to your party line - that you need great players in your platoon to get you on track. Locus of control internal please, because no one has just absorbed WoT skills via osmosis without applying their own brains to the problem. Having a readily available source of knowledge certainly helps, but this website works pretty well for that also. 

 

As far as the meta goes, TDs were nerfed and the maps re-worked to eliminate most common long firing lines (except Prok). Its now World of Funnels where local superiority and brawling skills and random blob strength are the keys. Its probably an improvement over vision TD games of 10 months ago. I was off from Dec to July, so I understand this will be an adjustment for you, but its mostly for the better. 

 

I wasn't inferring that I needed to be carried in a platoon by better players, just that it would be a quicker way for me to remember some of the details that I was starting to get a grip on from Millard, DingBat, Sela, Sr360, you...etc before I left. Just thought it might be a better path for me to take instead of solo frustrating through the match maker and the masses of zomie players this game tends to have.

The Type would probably be the best place to start. The closer-quarters combat plus new terrain dips make it incredibly easy to get hull-down and brawl with it. Standard 8s get run over by 10s these days, and TDs aren't as strong as they used to be. 

 

Pref 8s and 7s are probably the sweet spot for learning curve.

 

Thanks!

 

"Don't peak! Don't peak!...You peaked didn't you! I told you not to!"

 

See, I do still remember some things. =)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No doubt it eases the frustration, but then learning to accept the zombies and MM madness and manage them is part of the skillset.

 

For actual player observation there has been an explosion of streaming since last year, so there are tons of VoDs to reference for learning the new map changes without actually jumping into the game. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No doubt it eases the frustration, but then learning to accept the zombies and MM madness and manage them is part of the skillset.

 

For actual player observation there has been an explosion of streaming since last year, so there are tons of VoDs to reference for learning the new map changes without actually jumping into the game. 

 

New maps and map changes will be the challenge for me. I might spend some time on them before getting into real battles. WoT still have training rooms?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...