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Pls halp - permateal in distress


Hey there,

I have been playing on-and-off for a couple years now (since 2012 actually, I remember shooting a T29 in a tier 4 TD on Province), usually in couple month bursts split by lengthy hiatuses, some like a year or so even. I started bad as anyone, then a couple "cycles" ago I awakened to teal, and now Im stuck.
Actually, my WN8 is steadily decreasing now. I suppose this is mainly because my overall WN8 was inflated by random padding crap like prenerf M44 games etc., and now its moving to its real value (i.e. the WN8 I actually perform on) - but I also feel that I have hit a wall and cannot grow, really. I have seen the term "permateal" being thrown around, and I suppose it fits. 

I recall first seeing Zeven's videos, and being completely blown away by how he is hardly ever talking about stuff like this shot or that shot or the particular tank in any given situation, and instead just playing the people/teams/map. Like a whole other level of the game, where its no longer about just hitting/penning something, but simply being in the right spot at the right time for the right reason. Like he is not even playing tanks, but some board game. I loved it

I try and make the intelligent choices on where to go (team composition and map depending), and I try and "micro" my engagements to not do stupid stuff. But still, my "real" winrate is 53-54-ish only, and I cannot break e.g. 2k on a tier 9 heavy

What gives me the most grief is:

  • Losing streaks. I get them a lot. Im at like 48% on a Panther 8.8 after 440-ish games for no good reason. What gives? Maybe Im just super susceptible to getting tilt and spiraling into worse performance, not sure
    I repeatedly find myself in "unwinnable" matches which just break my spirit, even as I suspect its only confirmation bias and/or me not being smart enough to see the winnable approach.
  • I am too impatient / aggressive. I have this urge to gogogo and do something otherwise the game will pass me by and we will either lose to my inaction / I wont get my damage
    But then I get too far ahead, get swarmed and I die while my team is unable to help
  • I keep watching streams etc, but I still feel I have no idea what Im doing on multiple maps. This results in a feeling of doing everything for the first time, and repeatedly running into situations where Im like "oh, so here I get shat on from the side, now I know"

Where do I go from here? I suppose what I would really like is to be able to make the most of shitty matches, where nowadays I either get swept away in a landslide with like two shots fired, or I aggro into overwhelming force and just die.
Is there some way one can train themselves to not be reckless? Some other tanks I should be playing? Or anything else Im missing? Maybe my numbers say more about me 

Pls halp - thanks

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