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lava's lazy reviews (last update 3/12/2O19)

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In an attempt to revitalise this forum to sate my necrophilic urges I have decided to start a threat where I review tanks currently in my garage. 

Reviews start from Tier 4 which is where the fun begins and include SPGs which are the most fun class of all

Tanks are compared to their peers in the same class, and given scores on FIREPOWER, SURVIVABILITY and MOBILITY on a 1-1O scale. Format roughly follows that of old dedwotlabs reviews.

5/1O means the tank is neither at an advantage or disadvantage in that area, 6/1O a slight edge, 7/1O means a definite advantage in some way, 8/1O is better than most tanks and 9-1O/1O would be best in class or thereabouts.

Tank suggestions are welcome. Zeroes are not allowed. Do not ask me to play shitty tanks as I will play them.

 

Example

 

IS-3

FIREPOWER - 8/1O

+ one of the most reliable guns in tier despite lack of hard accuracy

+ 39O alpha, high pen on both AP and APCR

+ snaps for days (.8 turret bloom ftw)

= long aim time for mid/long range engagements

= only 5 degrees of gun dep tho mitigated by low profile

- low DPM at ¬22OO fully kitted out

- only 350 VR limiting on open maps and v. Swede campers

- somewhat low ammo count for when you have to carry your friendly tier ten tards

 

SURVIVABILITY - 8/1O

+ unironically one of the best turrets in game: 25O to autobounce frontally with strong sides

+ tiny weakspots in the form of 2Omm forehead + cupola

+ frontal hull is a tricky target due to pike + track applique 

+ hull sides absorb more shots than front due to 9Omm sloped + tinfoil supply boxes which somehow act as 3Omm spaced armour

+ can reverse sidescrape

+ can facehug

+ short enough to hull down behind anything bigger than a pixel

+ trolliness of armour profile quadruples due to small size and ability to wiggle

= pike unreliable in frontal engagements

= can't do frontal sidescrapes

= has turret weakspots (cries in 2017)

- frontal hull is cheese to well aimed fire

- low profile means both turret weakspots and weak hull are exposed when against tall tanks

- module issues - ammorack & burns

 

MOBILITY - 7.5/1O

+ more agile than most mediums in tier

+ good HP/T and good acceleration

+ probably has some broken gear stats at low speeds

+ cruises at 38 on most terrain

= top speed *only* 38

= -15 reverse speed

Note: the IS-3 is more agile than most of its peers and is slightly faster than most of the heavy heavies, but the top speed stops it from making some flexes which is why it gets half a point knocked off.

 

OVERALL - 23.5/3O (GUD, VERY GUD)

Recommended loadout: APCR, food, rammer, vents, v-stabs.

  • Still one of the best heavies in tier and uncontested in its niche as a hulldown brawly heavium
  • Not as dominant as it once was due to TD campsites being added to otherwise corridory maps
  • Ability to resist higher tiers less important due to MM changes
  • Strongly favours aggressive plays which would be suicidal on most other tanks
  • For a less aggressive playstyle: try the 53TP; if you are terrible - the Defender.

 

===========================================================================================================

 

List of current tanks:

TIER 4
AC I
Pz B2
T28E with F-3O
Sav M/43
Valentine II


TIER 5

MT
Matilda IV
M4 Improved
Turán III
Pz.Kpfw. T 25

HT
BDR G1 B
Churchill III
Excelsior
T14
KV-22O-2

TIER 6

LT
T-5O-2

MT
A-43
AC IV Exp
Skoda T 25
Strv 74
T-34-85M
VK3OO1P

HT
VK36O1H

TD
SU-1OO

SPG
M44

TIER 7

MT
Chi-Ri
LeO
VK3OO2D

HT
A45
IS

TD
E 25
SU-1OOM1
SU-122-44
Super Hellcat
T-34-2G FT

TIER 8

LT
LTTB

MT
AMX CDC
Cent 5/1
M4 Rev
Obj 416
T25 Pilot 1
T26E4
T-44
T-44-1OO

HT
5OTP Proto
53TP
AMX M4 49
Caern AX
Chrysler K
Emil I
FCM 5OT
IS-3
IS-3A
IS-6
IS-M
M54 Renegade
M6A2E1
VK45O2A
WZ-111

TD
AMX CDA
Jagdtiger 8.8
RHM Skorpion
SU-1O1
SU-13OPM
WZ-111-1G FT
WZ-12O-1G FT

SPG 
LOrr 155 51

TIER 9

MT
E 5O
Obj 43O II
Skoda T 5O
T 55A

HT
5OTP
AMX M4 51
Conqueror
E 75
Emil II
M1O3
ST-I
T-1O
WZ-111 1-4

TD
Jagdtiger
Obj 7O4
WZ-111G FT

SPG
212A
BC 155 55

Tier 1O

LT
T-1OO

MT
121
Obj 43OU

HT
113
AMX 5O B
AMX M4 54
IS-4
IS-7
Obj 277
T11OE5
Type 5
WZ-111 5A

SPG
Obj 261

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18 minutes ago, Oicraftian said:

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

You forgot the conclusion: best tank in tier 6. :disco:

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41 minutes ago, Oicraftian said:

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

Looked at it ingame and apparently it's got 194 gold pen now

34-85M still obviously better tho :fish:

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Purple text reminds me too much of Gasai_Yuno. Other than that, pretty good review.

Props for trying to bring this forum back to life. I've been trying to think of something I can do towards the same goal. My one issue is that seemingly everything has been hashed out already, so adding to the conversation (especially with so many better players than I am around) is difficult. Still trying to come up with an idea, but I like yours.

Gotta remove the props for saying positive things about arty though...

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Comrade, there is little hope of bringing wotlabs back to life unless WG de-cancers their game.

 

Which is of course, impossible. For they themselves are the root of all evils (within their domain), pubbie scum, shitty customer service, rampant physics abuse, etc

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Do type 5 heavy pls :minidoge:

6 hours ago, Oicraftian said:

I only got Dirizon and Gasai, not sure where any other references are coming from

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long :feelsbad:

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1 hour ago, leggasiini said:

Do type 5 heavy pls :minidoge:

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long :feelsbad:

well you were one of the last people on this graveyard who used to review pixel tanks so there's prolly an influence not into uneven fat tiddy jap tanks so sorry not sorry 
i habe moar deepeegees in derp type 4 than the 'buffed' type 5 

prelim thoughts on type 5: more agile than before and a lot comfier than it used to be - but without the derp I fail to see the role it's supposed to take in game - case in point just got matched against a 279e :(

14 hours ago, Oicraftian said:

Comrade, there is little hope of bringing wotlabs back to life unless WG de-cancers their game.

 

Which is of course, impossible. For they themselves are the root of all evils (within their domain), pubbie scum, shitty customer service, rampant physics abuse, etc

The current game isn't good by any stretch of the information, but at least it's marginally less masochistic to play than world of corridors which peaked at ard the time 268 4 was released and world of TDs (1.0). good players leaving means I get outplayed a lot less 300 iq strat right there

I do wish there was a way to play the game other than rushing to hulldown spots ad nauseum tho................................

PS funnily enough frontlines reminds me more of the old WoT than pubbing

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On 12/4/2019 at 4:34 PM, leggasiini said:

Do type 5 heavy pls :minidoge:

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long :feelsbad:

I believe Garbad/Kewei used a numerical scale when reviewing tanks too, but this is only from memory and I can't be assed to look up their old reviews

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On 12/3/2019 at 7:53 PM, kolni said:

that people dont get the references is actually making me scratch my head

Can't speak for others, but i know what the reference is.

Would have been better if i added "One is bad enough", but i thought of that just now, sooooo...

yeah. I'm bad @ jokes, but i think it's still better to try, than to not do any at all. Hey, at least i might make people laugh now and then at how bad they are...:minidoge:

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