lava's lazy reviews (last update 3/12/2O19)

[lavawing 498]

In an attempt to revitalise this forum to sate my necrophilic urges I have decided to start a threat where I review tanks currently in my garage. 

Reviews start from Tier 4 which is where the fun begins and include SPGs which are the most fun class of all

Tanks are compared to their peers in the same class, and given scores on FIREPOWER, SURVIVABILITY and MOBILITY on a 1-1O scale. Format roughly follows that of old dedwotlabs reviews.

5/1O means the tank is neither at an advantage or disadvantage in that area, 6/1O a slight edge, 7/1O means a definite advantage in some way, 8/1O is better than most tanks and 9-1O/1O would be best in class or thereabouts.

Tank suggestions are welcome. Zeroes are not allowed. Do not ask me to play shitty tanks as I will play them.

 

Example

 

IS-3

FIREPOWER - 8/1O

+ one of the most reliable guns in tier despite lack of hard accuracy

+ 39O alpha, high pen on both AP and APCR

+ snaps for days (.8 turret bloom ftw)

= long aim time for mid/long range engagements

= only 5 degrees of gun dep tho mitigated by low profile

- low DPM at ¬22OO fully kitted out

- only 350 VR limiting on open maps and v. Swede campers

- somewhat low ammo count for when you have to carry your friendly tier ten tards

 

SURVIVABILITY - 8/1O

+ unironically one of the best turrets in game: 25O to autobounce frontally with strong sides

+ tiny weakspots in the form of 2Omm forehead + cupola

+ frontal hull is a tricky target due to pike + track applique 

+ hull sides absorb more shots than front due to 9Omm sloped + tinfoil supply boxes which somehow act as 3Omm spaced armour

+ can reverse sidescrape

+ can facehug

+ short enough to hull down behind anything bigger than a pixel

+ trolliness of armour profile quadruples due to small size and ability to wiggle

= pike unreliable in frontal engagements

= can't do frontal sidescrapes

= has turret weakspots (cries in 2017)

- frontal hull is cheese to well aimed fire

- low profile means both turret weakspots and weak hull are exposed when against tall tanks

- module issues - ammorack & burns

 

MOBILITY - 7.5/1O

+ more agile than most mediums in tier

+ good HP/T and good acceleration

+ probably has some broken gear stats at low speeds

+ cruises at 38 on most terrain

= top speed *only* 38

= -15 reverse speed

Note: the IS-3 is more agile than most of its peers and is slightly faster than most of the heavy heavies, but the top speed stops it from making some flexes which is why it gets half a point knocked off.

 

OVERALL - 23.5/3O (GUD, VERY GUD)

Recommended loadout: APCR, food, rammer, vents, v-stabs.

• Still one of the best heavies in tier and uncontested in its niche as a hulldown brawly heavium
• Not as dominant as it once was due to TD campsites being added to otherwise corridory maps
• Ability to resist higher tiers less important due to MM changes
• Strongly favours aggressive plays which would be suicidal on most other tanks
• For a less aggressive playstyle: try the 53TP; if you are terrible - the Defender.

 

===========================================================================================================

 

List of current tanks:

TIER 4
AC I
Pz B2
T28E with F-3O
Sav M/43
Valentine II

TIER 5

MT
Matilda IV
M4 Improved
Turán III
Pz.Kpfw. T 25

HT
BDR G1 B
Churchill III
Excelsior
T14
KV-22O-2

TIER 6

LT
T-5O-2

MT
A-43
AC IV Exp
Skoda T 25
Strv 74
T-34-85M
VK3OO1P

HT
VK36O1H

TD
SU-1OO

SPG
M44

TIER 7

MT
Chi-Ri
LeO
VK3OO2D

HT
A45
IS

TD
E 25
SU-1OOM1
SU-122-44
Super Hellcat
T-34-2G FT

TIER 8

LT
LTTB

MT
AMX CDC
Cent 5/1
M4 Rev
Obj 416
T25 Pilot 1
T26E4
T-44
T-44-1OO

HT
5OTP Proto
53TP
AMX M4 49
Caern AX
Chrysler K
Emil I
FCM 5OT
IS-3
IS-3A
IS-6
IS-M
M54 Renegade
M6A2E1
VK45O2A
WZ-111

TD
AMX CDA
Jagdtiger 8.8
RHM Skorpion
SU-1O1
SU-13OPM
WZ-111-1G FT
WZ-12O-1G FT

SPG 
LOrr 155 51

TIER 9

MT
E 5O
Obj 43O II
Skoda T 5O
T 55A

HT
5OTP
AMX M4 51
Conqueror
E 75
Emil II
M1O3
ST-I
T-1O
WZ-111 1-4

TD
Jagdtiger
Obj 7O4
WZ-111G FT

SPG
212A
BC 155 55

Tier 1O

LT
T-1OO

MT
121
Obj 43OU

HT
113
AMX 5O B
AMX M4 54
IS-4
IS-7
Obj 277
T11OE5
Type 5
WZ-111 5A

SPG
Obj 261

[Oicraftian_ 14]

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

[Balthazars 210]

18 minutes ago, Oicraftian said:

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

You forgot the conclusion: best tank in tier 6.

[lavawing 498]

41 minutes ago, Oicraftian said:

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

Looked at it ingame and apparently it's got 194 gold pen now

34-85M still obviously better tho 

[Oicraftian_ 14]

VK P is better at abusing terrain than the p2w premium even then.

Really makes you think about what this game has come to.

[nabucodonsor 461]

I find the lack of t25-AT disturbing

[churchill50 26]

Purple text reminds me too much of Gasai_Yuno. Other than that, pretty good review.

Props for trying to bring this forum back to life. I've been trying to think of something I can do towards the same goal. My one issue is that seemingly everything has been hashed out already, so adding to the conversation (especially with so many better players than I am around) is difficult. Still trying to come up with an idea, but I like yours.

Gotta remove the props for saying positive things about arty though...

[Oicraftian_ 14]

Comrade, there is little hope of bringing wotlabs back to life unless WG de-cancers their game.

 

Which is of course, impossible. For they themselves are the root of all evils (within their domain), pubbie scum, shitty customer service, rampant physics abuse, etc

[BadLuckCharm 41]

Freaking hell with your zeros!

[Strigonx 442]

too much purple faggotry is triggering my PTSD.

and those 0s, strangely resemble a certain someone's autistic refusal to use 0s.

[kolni 69,670,872]

that people dont get the references is actually making me scratch my head

[Oicraftian_ 14]

I only got Dirizon and Gasai, not sure where any other references are coming from

[leggasiini 1,567]

Do type 5 heavy pls 

6 hours ago, Oicraftian said:

I only got Dirizon and Gasai, not sure where any other references are coming from

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long 

[lavawing 498]

1 hour ago, leggasiini said:

Do type 5 heavy pls 

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long 

well you were one of the last people on this graveyard who used to review pixel tanks so there's prolly an influence not into uneven fat tiddy jap tanks so sorry not sorry 
i habe moar deepeegees in derp type 4 than the 'buffed' type 5 

prelim thoughts on type 5: more agile than before and a lot comfier than it used to be - but without the derp I fail to see the role it's supposed to take in game - case in point just got matched against a 279e 

14 hours ago, Oicraftian said:

Comrade, there is little hope of bringing wotlabs back to life unless WG de-cancers their game.

 

Which is of course, impossible. For they themselves are the root of all evils (within their domain), pubbie scum, shitty customer service, rampant physics abuse, etc

The current game isn't good by any stretch of the information, but at least it's marginally less masochistic to play than world of corridors which peaked at ard the time 268 4 was released and world of TDs (1.0). good players leaving means I get outplayed a lot less 300 iq strat right there

I do wish there was a way to play the game other than rushing to hulldown spots ad nauseum tho................................

PS funnily enough frontlines reminds me more of the old WoT than pubbing

[echo9835 168]

On 12/3/2019 at 2:44 AM, Balthazars said:

You forgot the conclusion: best tank in tier 6.

Lies. Slander. Heresy. Churchill Game Carrier. 

[ZXrage 1,318]

On 12/4/2019 at 4:34 PM, leggasiini said:

Do type 5 heavy pls 

also this ^

Some aspects of the review (how he does firepower/armor/mobility and overall rating) does resemble my reviews a bit, but I don't think its intentional and it seems like a coincidence to me.

Can't really tell if there are more refences, might be just that my memory is getting rusty. It's been too long 

I believe Garbad/Kewei used a numerical scale when reviewing tanks too, but this is only from memory and I can't be assed to look up their old reviews

[BadLuckCharm 41]

On 12/3/2019 at 7:53 PM, kolni said:

that people dont get the references is actually making me scratch my head

Can't speak for others, but i know what the reference is.

Would have been better if i added "One is bad enough", but i thought of that just now, sooooo...

yeah. I'm bad @ jokes, but i think it's still better to try, than to not do any at all. Hey, at least i might make people laugh now and then at how bad they are...

[Diriz0n 1,000,043]

On 12/3/2019 at 12:49 PM, Oicraftian said:

VK P is better at abusing terrain than the p2w premium even then.

Really makes you think about what this game has come to.

Except.....it has bad shell velocity, by that I mean cromwell bad. DPM is average. It has heavy tank track traverse, and laughably not even providing an increase in traverse when researching tracks upgrade. WG likes shitting on German vehicles by giving them horseshit terrain resistances, to even out their HP/T.  It has terrible camo. The HP isn't even like a heavy-med HP its supposed to have, like the HP on shit like ChiTo, ARL44, VK32(M), Pudel, Etc. T3485M has just about the same gun dep because it is shorter. VK (P) has front engine module, so engine damage happens often.

If I were to play something like that, you can use T4O which actually makes credits  -  or P43 BIS which is a way better chassis. Even if it has useless shell velocity too, it actually has better armour and camo, DPM, alpha, and track traverse to actually pivot in close quarters. 

 

On 12/3/2019 at 7:53 PM, kolni said:

that people don't get the references is actually making me scratch my head

Scorpiany reviews like this too.

On 12/3/2019 at 6:29 PM, Strigonx said:

too much purple faggotry is triggering my PTSD.

and those 0s, strangely resemble a certain someone's autistic refusal to use 0s.

Don't judge people. 

 

[lavawing 498]

quick update with equipment 2.O

On 12/3/2019 at 5:29 PM, Oicraftian said:

VK 30.01 P summary.

TD Gun

60 kph max speed

160mm riot shield mantlet

8 degrees gun dep

Decent acceleration

40 tons to fuck every medium you ram

3OO1P is now dead and I can't find the motivation to play it. here's a review for the fair und balanced 36O1H instead



VK 36.01 Hentai

firepower - 8/10

• 2 viable gun options
• + 8.8 is a good all round performer, and after the zillionth buff now has both decent DPM and good gun handling, much like a heavy version of the 34-65's 85 mil. 220 will let you outtrade most mediums, and the gun handling and reload is good enough to trade two for one against same tier heavies, the only weakness being the low shell velocity. 
• + speaking of shell velocity, you have the 7.5/5.5 squeezebore/Konisch for sniping. DPM is good and effective DPM is a fair amount better as you have excellent accuracy and laser shells for chai-sniping. 225 APCR will shred most things you meet, even tier 8s. the weakness is that you can't really trade efficiently with this gun, but low tier pubs are dumb enough that it doesn't matter very often.
• + -8 gun depression
• + 370 VR is very good at tier 6 - although, as I'll explain, you don't actually get up to max VR with an optimal build
• + for those who were a fan of the 3001P the 3601 as of 1.10 has better bloom and better base accuracy
• = bloom is still not good enough for mid range snapping - but this is tier 6 and you have 1.2 (1.32)k HP to waste
• - both guns are somewhat premmo dependent

survivability - 9/10

• + colossal 1200 base HP and up to 1320 with improved hardening
• + trolly turret around 100 to 200 in EA
• + smol profile: tank is tall but not very long and quite narrow.
• + gun is mounted high and turret towards the front of the tank so it's actually unexpectedly good at minimising exposure
• + 60mm sides and turret location makes it good for sidescraping
• + combo of troll turret, autobounce notch on UFP and hull UFP, thick sides, and overall small size means you almost always have to aim to reliably pen this thing.
• = hull is 100-10 in most parts - worse than a Panther ffs- shameful I know
• = armour is unreliable in every single aspect including sidescrape
• - front mounted transmission means engine damage

 

• on its own, the armour is actually quite mediocre and possibly worse than some of the armoured meds at this tier. that doesn't matter because you have an absolutely ludicrous pool of 1.2-1.3k of HP you can trade with people, on a platform that needs people to aim to pen. 
• equally, having good armour for a tier 6 doesn't actually matter that much because unless it's T-150 grade stuff, it's just going to get cheesed right through by tier 7s/8s anyway. 

mobility - 7/10

• + high top speed and reverse speed (which it never reaches - without help)
• + fair agility for a heavy and combined turret/hull traverse is sufficient to never be circled
• = mediocre terrain resistances
• - poor engine power- less than 12 with a full loadout
   
• on its own, the mobility of the 3601 is only passable. what makes it good is that you can boost it massively with a turbocharger and then it reaches 45 on flat ground. it's worth noting that for the most part, low tier heavies are capped at 35 kph or so, so the ability to flex is a real game changer.

equipment choices 

• + improved hardening is a must as it gives you 120 extra HP on top of your 1.2k base pool
• + AND 65% extra suspension durability so that all those poor piddly peashooters won't be able to track you
• + the second good piece of equipment is turbocharger which allows you to bring that HP to wherever the fight is and so you can basically bully people with your superior German bulk.
• +  for the third slot I went with vents, but IRD (boosting agility and bloom), rammer for deeps, and optics are good options as well. I used to run with optics but I realised that with the extra speed and HP you can just yolo spot things and still have more than half your HP left. I don't think the tank benefits much from rammer if you run the 8.8 as it would be mostly overkill, and IRD doesn't do much for the playstyle of the thing. 

overall - 24/30 (solidly and unapologetically OP)

• what's quite interesting to me is that, actually, from 2012 this thing went from OP to being kinda shite. and now around 10 years later it goes from being kinda shite to OP as hell again, full circle as it were.
• whether you want a pure gunnery heavy, a pure brick, or a fast brick, the 3601 checks all the boxes and, as is fairly apparent from the pros and cons, pays virtually nothing for the absurd strengths it gains over its peers. 
• with a good crew, food and judicious (or not) use of APCR, sealclubbing with this thing makes me feel like it's 2012 all over again. Good times.

 

[lavawing 498]

Should really change the title to 'lava reviews a bunch of heaviums'.

I don't realise it very often, but grinds are really quick these days. In 70 ish games I'm now done with the IS-2-II, finishing with terrible stats and doing a lol-worthy max damage of 3850 across those games. To cut a long story short, it's not very good.

firepower - 8/10

• + dual guns which function as autoreloaders
• + Renegade tier soft stats
• + 7 degrees of gundep
• + front mounted turret
• + fast turret traverse
• = 4 second intraclip
• = decent base DPM at 2.2k, but no rammer
• = decent pen at 221/256, i.e. barely enough to go through tier 8 non weakspots 
• - 300 alpha 
• - dual barrel jank: barrel shift is uber annoying for micropositioning and makes it really frustrating to double track people

my experience has been that in order for a tier 8 heavy to work with 300 alpha or less, you basically need a really strong platform or an equally powerful gimmick. the Caerns and Patriot can permatrack people and have -10 gun depression to use their guns as DPS chainsaws. what does the IS-2-II have? a decent gun with a useful gimmick. it doesn't make the tank shine, but it doesn't hold it back either. does the rest of the tank hold up?

survivability - 6.5/10

• + decent turret ~230 effective frontally
• + strong mantlet
• + strong shoulders (this is a only plus because the rest of the UFP is shit, and so the tank would have shit sidescraping capabilties whether or not it had shoulders)
• + double 20mm tracks (this is a plus as the tracks and the turret are just about the only abusable armour you have on this thing)
• + can actually reverse sidescrape but the margin of error is thinner than an anorexic john dory
• = decent side armour
• = small ish profile
• = 1500 HP (and the tank has an extra equipment slot with no rammer to boost it further)
• - bad hull at 180 effective head on.
• - UFP only moderately angled and caps out at 230-240 when using gun depression AND angling the hull
• - weak and unangled 100mm cupola
• - exposed turret ring
• - 20mm hull roof

I don't have too many good things to say about the survivability. snap more and don't rely on it so that it won't let you down. Average blocked was almost exactly the same as on my 53TP and only slightly ahead of the Renegade which is its closest analogue. basically, as with basically every other aspect of the tank, it's a worse Renegade.

mobility - 7/10 (7.5 with turbo)

• + good agility with 14 HP/T and fast traverse
• + decent terrain resistances
• = poor-ish top speed (34) and reverse speed (12) (you really want to run turbocharger to give yourself IS-3 mobility

the IS-2 II seems to intended to be a fast-ish support heavy much like the Renegade. except it isn't fast and you cannot actually outstrip the average tier 8 heavy without a turbocharger, in which case you are about as fast as the IS-3.  as it is a 703 with a turbocharger is significantly faster than the IS-2-II 

equipment choices 

• verstab is a given
• vents if good crew and food (350 base view range in 2020 wot the fok Murazor?), optics if poor and shit crew
• choice between improved hardening to compensate for the inherent badness of the armour, or, as I prefer to do it, a turbocharger so you can avoid being shoehorned into engagements against other, stronger tier 8 heavies

overall - 21.5/30 (good? or not)

• this is one of the tanks where I feel a numerical rating really doesn't reflect the actual strength (or lack thereof) of the tank
• none of the individual aspects of the tank make or break the tank, yet somehow the sum of those aspects is less than its constituent parts. essentially, what you have is that the strengths of the tank don't work as a package:
• quick firing guns need very good gun depression and fully armoured platforms to work at their best, which the IS-2-II doesn't offer. you need to poke very often to punish people, but you don't have the tools to make sure you don't get punished.
• the inconsistent armour profile could work quite well if it was a trading tank with high alpha, e,g, 53TP/ IS-3, but instead it's a 300 alpha tank that fires every 4 to 7.4 seconds.
• high HP/T, low top speed and slow reverse are usually traits of hulldown, point defence tanks, e.g. the Conq or the Caern where vertical agility is more important than flex - i.e. tanks that aren't the IS-2-II. again, for the tank to work well with that mobility it needs more gun depression/armour/alpha, or you could have more mobility, preferably in the 40-45 range. 
• the funny thing is that the Renegade is "only" 23/30 on the same scale: 9/10 firepower, 6/10 armour, 8/10 mobility, but it works the better than the stats suggest because there is such a strong synergy between the individual aspects which you can exploit with a single playstyle, i.e. the poking/bitch medium/hulldown heavium thing that most of the high tier American heavies/mediums do.
• with the IS-2-II it's the exact opposite: the stats of the tank pull it in different directions. it's a mess.