Jump to content
Bullitt

Jokes that made you Groan.

Recommended Posts

My friend told me a joke that really made me groan but it was funny because it was so bad.It goes something like.

 

My mate hired an Eastern European cleaner but it took her 8 hours to clean the house.

 It turns out she was a Slovak!

 

Have you got a joke that is so bad it made you laugh at it's badness?

If so post it here.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Momma Momma jokes'

 

Momma momma .... how come I keep runnin in a circle?

 

 

 

 

.... Shaddap or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I MUST find a way to translate all those bad jokes i know in English damn it!

 

 

Ah, one i remeber:

 

When is a door not a door?

 

When it's ajar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pun = worst thing in human history.

 

you are the worst thing in human history

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I learned most of my best dance moves from TV.

You know the ones where the black guy finds out he is not the father.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Groaners? <mad cackle>

 

The difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup!!

 

I met a man who fell into an upholstery machine. Fortunately, he's fully recovered now.

 

When the glassblower inhaled he got a pane in his stomach.

 

A shy pebble went in to a psychiatrist's office. "May I help you?", asked the clerk.

"Yes," said the pebble," I want to be a little bolder."

 

A vampire walks into a bar, and asks for a "Large glass of A-positive blood."

The bartender looks him square in the eyes, and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your type here."

 

And finally . . .

 

Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there were a lot of folks who thought so. 

 

Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural -- a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90 MPH curve ball would start out like it was going to hit the batter's ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of the plate for a strike. 

His change up made the best hitters in the league cry -- they would swing, drop the bat, and stare incredulously as the ball hit the catcher's mitt. 

He was indeed awesome! 

Why then, you might ask, is he not in the Hall of Fame? Why haven't you ever heard of him? 

Alas, like many others before him, Mel's downfall was demon alcohol. 

Ol' Mel really liked to tilt the glass. His drinking became almost legendary around the country, but he never let it affect his pitching until The Braves and the Yankees were in the World Series! 

Excitement reigned! 

The series was tied at three games apiece, and the Braves were in New York for the seventh and deciding game. 

The night before the big event, Mel's thirst got the better of him. He sneaked out of the hotel after curfew, and bought himself two cases of beer. 

As you might imagine, the next morning Mel didn't feel too good. 

But being the pro that he was, Mel managed to do just fine -- until the bottom of the ninth inning. With the Braves ahead by one run, two out, and the bases loaded, Mel's revelry the night before finally caught up to him. 

Eight straight pitches -- eight straight balls. He walked in the tying run and the winning run, thereby, losing the game and the series. 

After the game, a reporter went to the jubilant Yankee's clubhouse and spoke to the last two players that faced Mel. "Tell me," he asked, "to what do you attribute this victory over the best pitcher in the major leagues"? 

In unison they replied, ... "It was the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if the translation is good, but I try:

 

Existential problem:
- Just think: every time I breathe a man dies in the world!
- Have you tried to get something for breath?

 

 

At the manege:
- Hi, I want a horse.
- To be mounted?
- No, no, ready ...

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wood do tree jokes but I'll leaf them alone.  I should really branch into other types of comedy.

 

Jeez, yew'd risk making an ash of yourself? That's just aspen for trouble!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So an Irishman walks past a pub.

 

IMPOSSIBRU

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jeez, yew'd risk making an ash of yourself? That's just aspen for trouble!

 

Oh leaf him alone his pining humor has yet to branch out; he's a mahogynistic firry kitty that loves germinated box tonks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh leaf him alone his pining humor has yet to branch out; he's a mahogynistic firry kitty that loves germinated box tonks.

You otter know

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Every TOG joke ever.

 

Jesus Christ this.  "IT'S FUNNAY CUZ IT LOOOOONG LOOOL."  I want a filter for these people, and by filter I mean death camp.

 

 

On topic:  I dated a girl in a wheelchair once, she broke up with me because I pushed her too far.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This one is a bit close to the knuckle in more ways than one.

 

 

My dad got me a dictionary for my birthday.

"Why did you get me this" I asked him.

"Because your stupid!" he said.

 

Then for his birthday I bought him a dildo.

"Why did you get me this?" He said.

 

"Because your a ####! I said

 

i will let you work it out.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...