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Fablkak Reviews: Tron Legacy, World War Z, Skyline, 30 Days of Night, Troll 2, The deadly sparrows, part Jew, Battles Los Angeles, Europa Report

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MRSA is great though.

 

MRSA is pesky, but by no means the worst around. VISA/VRSA, VRE, ESBL-producing gram-negatives, and some of the nastier strains of Acinetobacter and Pseudomonas are an increasing problem.

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I couldn't watch all of it but apparently around the 20 min mark the film maker is the first to bring up Hitler. 

I hereby officially invoke Goodwin's law so evolution wins by default. 

 

ps

When you talk about evolution of a virus or bacteria they don't count that because that is "variation within a kind" which they believe to be somehow different to regular evolution. What they are asking for as proof is basically a bacteria changing into a moose or a fly changing into a lizard all within a personally observable amount of time.

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sooooo, Ender's Game is on the 1st of november (here, anyway). Going to see it? 

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sooooo, Ender's Game is on the 1st of november (here, anyway). Going to see it? 

 

Planning on it as I loved those books.  I also know that I'm going to have to shut off my brain a bit because invariably they will fuck something I think important up.

 

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I'm going through the same mental preparations. My father actually expressed an interest in going to see it - which is incredible because that is the first time he has ever expressed an interest in going to see a movie in my lifetime.

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Europa Report:

Good. This movie passed its science exam with pretty good marks.

 

It didn't pass my science exam because of the giant plot holes:

 

1. Why would a corporation send an exploration mission? Is it government funded, why? Not even a scene? No commercial applications / tests?

2. How was the crew selection so terrible and why is the command structure not more organized / militaristic?

 

Huge resources and human lives at stake - isolation training and deep psychological testing is a given, as in, people would spend more time in isolation training that during the actual mission.

 

Granted there was one small science fail when they said that the temperature outside their ship was absolute zero but I’m not petty enough to point that out on any kind of review, well ok I am but only so that equally nerdy science friends can’t say I missed it.

 

They almost completely failed the vacuum/space science test. The first death is ridiculous for the following reasons:

 

1. They continue the space-walk despite being low on AIR, which becomes a plot point (hole!) - a real long range space ship that requires external maintenance will have external air-supply connectors, eliminating any drama/pressure from being low on air (you just refuel).

 

2. They handwave some kind of hazardous material that will poison everyone if it gets into the isolated airlock. That's nonsense.

 

3. The whole repair mission seemed ridiculous, especially where it went wrong.

 

Although the movie might be a little slow for most people I think they did very well getting the pacing right, especially considering that the first two years of the mission consists largely of sitting down. If you like your science fiction slow and realistic then this movie is for you. 8/10 empirical nonstandard units of entertainment.

 

It's not science fiction, but rather pure fiction, a horror flic that pretends to have science. Very similar to Sunshine (2007), which was at least better filmed and better acted.

Sunshine's ridiculous plot was actually more logical in it's basic setup.

 

Some of this films Sins:

 

1. The panicking astronauts Cliche` - people who completely break down when comrades die don't end up on such missions.

 

2. The "lets check out this anomaly we known nothing about" cliche`. REALLY? The old horror movie "I'll just take a quick look?"

 

3. The "lets check it out again, despite losing people earlier" cliche`...

 

4. The "Aliens with Magic Gravitational Handwavium" cliche`.

 

5. The "We found another sentient species in the solar system and they have tentacles" cliche` - why couldn't it be primitive low-cell organisms?

 

2001: A Space Odyssey - avoided that cliche' entirely by not actually showing any alien bodies.

History later revealed that this decision required a process of promoting and rejecting aliens SFX, and it also recorded the massive success of such a decision.

Why would the creators of Europa Report disregard such a lesson? Cheap entertainment? Instant gratification?

 

 

Bonus review: Primer

More complicated than eating the last bit of yoghurt from a small container with a big spoon.

 

Actually a 9/10 Science Fiction if you assume such a time machine exists and don't ask how.

Highly recommend Time Crimes which works with a similar premise and was even more fun.

 

 

Another recommendation - for a real Space Science Fiction, check out Moon (2009)  - easy 10/10.

 

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Europa Report:

Good. This movie passed its science exam with pretty good marks.

 

It didn't pass my science exam because of the giant plot holes:

 

1. Why would a corporation send an exploration mission? Is it government funded, why? Not even a scene? No commercial applications / tests?

2. How was the crew selection so terrible and why is the command structure not more organized / militaristic?

 

Huge resources and human lives at stake - isolation training and deep psychological testing is a given, as in, people would spend more time in isolation training that during the actual mission.

 

Granted there was one small science fail when they said that the temperature outside their ship was absolute zero but I’m not petty enough to point that out on any kind of review, well ok I am but only so that equally nerdy science friends can’t say I missed it.

 

They almost completely failed the vacuum/space science test. The first death is ridiculous for the following reasons:

 

1. They continue the space-walk despite being low on AIR, which becomes a plot point (hole!) - a real long range space ship that requires external maintenance will have external air-supply connectors, eliminating any drama/pressure from being low on air (you just refuel).

 

2. They handwave some kind of hazardous material that will poison everyone if it gets into the isolated airlock. That's nonsense.

 

3. The whole repair mission seemed ridiculous, especially where it went wrong.

 

Although the movie might be a little slow for most people I think they did very well getting the pacing right, especially considering that the first two years of the mission consists largely of sitting down. If you like your science fiction slow and realistic then this movie is for you. 8/10 empirical nonstandard units of entertainment.

 

It's not science fiction, but rather pure fiction, a horror flic that pretends to have science. Very similar to Sunshine (2007), which was at least better filmed and better acted.

Sunshine's ridiculous plot was actually more logical in it's basic setup.

 

Some of this films Sins:

 

1. The panicking astronauts Cliche` - people who completely break down when comrades die don't end up on such missions.

 

2. The "lets check out this anomaly we known nothing about" cliche`. REALLY? The old horror movie "I'll just take a quick look?"

 

3. The "lets check it out again, despite losing people earlier" cliche`...

 

4. The "Aliens with Magic Gravitational Handwavium" cliche`.

 

5. The "We found another sentient species in the solar system and they have tentacles" cliche` - why couldn't it be primitive low-cell organisms?

 

2001: A Space Odyssey - avoided that cliche' entirely by not actually showing any alien bodies.

History later revealed that this decision required a process of promoting and rejecting aliens SFX, and it also recorded the massive success of such a decision.

Why would the creators of Europa Report disregard such a lesson? Cheap entertainment? Instant gratification?

 

 

Bonus review: Primer

More complicated than eating the last bit of yoghurt from a small container with a big spoon.

 

Actually a 9/10 Science Fiction if you assume such a time machine exists and don't ask how.

Highly recommend Time Crimes which works with a similar premise and was even more fun.

 

 

Another recommendation - for a real Space Science Fiction, check out Moon (2009)  - easy 10/10.

 

 

Ok here we go.

For your first two points: 

1) There is a hell of a lot of interest in a privately funded manned mission to Mars. If that isn't so crazy then I don't see why a private mission to Europa is either. 

2) Because it's a private company not a military mission. 

 

Next three points

Agree, I didn't really think about there being air tanks outside and the mystery poison was BS.

 

Next five points.

All of these are debatable

1) After all the testing in the world there is still the human factor, a very long time in isolation under stress people becoming a little unstable is a real possibility. You can only select for people that are less likely to crack, not weed em all out. Also, he didn't flip out that bad. I'm worse than that guy most mondays.

2) & 3) You are sent on a mission to find things out, I think you're going to be highly motivated to find shit out. It only really happened once anyway. The second time they didn't have a choice.

4) " Magic Gravitational Handwavium"   What? there was no gravity weapon thing. Only something could melt the ice which by itself is relatively unbelievable because it would be a massive energy expenditure on the part of the alien just to get at a surface which is largely bereft of anything other than small quantities of bacteria.

5) There was never the suggestion that it was sentient. The discovery of microbial life is more likely however multicellular organisms are not an unreasonable proposition somewhere like sub surface Europa. So, to answer your question of why one over the other? because multicellular life looks better on camera. 

Anyway, Europa Report was good not great. 

 

Primer is a very good movie considering it was made for just $7000. It takes multiple watching though as all is not as it appears to be.

 

Moon is my favourite sci-fi made in the last decade. 10/10 tick.

 

 

 

 

I'll watch the movie with you jack... just as soon as you come to Australia as everyone eventually does. I just hope that Ender's Game isn't as disappointing as Prometheus. I had high hopes for that movie. Maybe Prometheus needs a harsh review. 

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There was gravitational handwavium when their ship tried to lift up, the 'aliens' grabbed it and pulled it back. You might not have noticed it because of how stupid it was (the wonderful defensive mechanisms of the human brain)...

The Aliens attacked the humans, you are right it might not have been sentient, it was just stupid. 

 

The other thing I just remembered is that no human stayed back in orbit in a return vehicle, which was basic operating procedure since the moon landing.

 

I still disagree on the isolation training - you should watch some documentaries on Astronaut training, these people are nuts, the selection is brutal, and stupid people just don't make it up.

 

Corporations are surely interested in reaching Mars and beyond, but any mission goes beyond mere exploration and search for life.

The First thing they will be after will be near Earth asteroids for mining purposes.

Mars or Moon for mining / permanent base with tourism. 

 

There was no reason to send a Manned mission just to explore life on a planet - nothing they did in the film couldn't have been done by a probe (assuming the technological progress required for the mission in the first place, robotics will be even further ahead then they are now). 

 

This was all just contrived so we have crew dying one by one. CONTRIVED Report, that's how it should be renamed.

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Europa Report was fine, cuz lets entertain the masses, take their money, and make more scifi flicks. In my review, this is a movie that informs the masses that there is a celestial body, in our solar system and within reach, that is home to an extensive undersea ocean, and already has huge potential to support life.  To keep people interested for the whole science fiction part, add a pretty backdrop and an interesting plot and then kill some dudes, and maybe then a couple more girls will take college calculus and physics and maybe figure out what you are complaining about and let you touch them.

 

But by all means, since you know everything, lets sit around in nerd forum and compare SciFi flicks to My Little Pony because fuck normal people?

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Hey guiz, you need 'plosions to be engaging in a movie. Dat is why szienze fiction sucks balls, a big giant special effectz is what made Star Wars and Star Track good. Have a ton of huge 'splosions and giant CG things all over da place, also, make sure lots of peoplez die in a quasi-dramatic way so you getz feelz across.

 

Murderingz of the people is so much more engagingz than plot, or stories or the logic contained thereinz. Throwing something on the screen that haz a reazon to be there is so fucking boring, the only wayz to engage teh audiencez is for more 'splosions and murderz to happen on the screenz. Plus, actually building up da characters, have some sort of heavy, complex plot related shitz to do and explaining the science behindz it all in an easy to grasp way would take a lot of hard work that is better spent on hiring a bunch hoboz to make a bunch of shiny and 'siony things of da computerboxes.

 

THAT IS WHY EUROPA REPORT IS THE BESTIZE MOVIEZ EVER GUIZE, THAT AND BECAUSE I DROPPED OUT OF KINDERGARTEN. 

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Fablkak reviews Snowpiercer
Have you ever thought to yourself, man Hunger Games would be so much better if it were all filmed on a train for no adequately explored reason. Well, if that was you and you actually did think that then please go and out and earn yourself a Darwin award as quickly as you can. The movie Snowpiercer takes the rigidly defined class systems of Hunger Games and exports it to an entirely locomotive setting because reasons. Oh so many great and powerful reasons, so many and so great are they that they just couldn't fit any of them into the movie. Ok sure there was some wishy washy “there was this guy that liked trains and thought that the world was going to freeze, so here we are on a train and the world is frozen” which as far as explanations go is up there with because I say so and god did it. Literally the whole movie you just sit there thinking to yourself ‘But why on a train? Why is the train moving? Why didn't the ice age effect the tracks?’ and a myriad of other train related questions. What’s more is that the makers of Snowpiercer thought that they could improve on Hunger Games by removing Jennifer Lawrence. Less Jennifer Lawrence is never a good thing, remember that folks, it’s important.
Luckily the movie explained the moral of the story twice to us, just in case you missed the metaphor the first time they sit you down and say ok, we told you about the aquarium being a closed system with a carefully regulated population, well now here is how it relates to our situation in every detail. Yay it’s time for audience participation! Is anyone out there living in a closed system? one that you might be harming perhaps? Well if you’re reading this on a train then you’re not. You can just get off the train, it’s not so bad, there are doors and everything. 
In summary, if I wanted to watch people fight on a train for three hours I would just catch one to Campbeltown and back.

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Snip

 

Wait, like, the train is a metaphor?

 

I haven't seen it (though I would love to get my hands on the original French graphic novel -without shelling out $100- Le Transperceneige,) but despite the dystopian aspects, aren't the basic conceits different? I get there's the vested interest-party maintaining the power structure and rigid culling of the herd, but isn't there sort of an existential struggle as a species going on coupled with the original-sin type of burden with humanity as a whole since we all turned the planet into an iceberg? This scenario seems much more claustrophobic than having some scattered 'districts' that need to be kept in check by killing their kids.

 

PS-I haven't read H-G and only have seen the first movie, but my big issue is that the worst thing that an authoritarian government trying to control/subdue a population could do would be to kill the kids of those it is trying to govern. I'm a tax-paying-loving, respectful-of-authority, egalitarian, New World progeny of Scandinavians, but that's one thing that would make me lose it. 

 

Anyway, always love these Fab. Keep em coming! 

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Ok it wasn't a copy of Hunger Games exactly, it's just that when one dystopic movie with a rigidly defined class structure and anti-establishment protagonists quickly follows another you get the indelible impression that there has been a little band wagon jumping if you know what I mean. If there were two classic stories about a man who befriends a native american tribe then dances with wolves and they were both made into movies in quick succession then you might be inclined to think that the release of the latter is just riding Kevin Costner's coattails. 

 

I think that the moral of the film was that if the world fucking ends and there is no budget or personnel for regular track maintenance then perhaps the safest place to be isn't hurtling along a neglected railway at 120 km/h. Any sense of fear or excitement that was supposed to be derived from the idea of going over dangerous sections of track was completely undermined by the fact that they could stop at any point and had no reason to be moving in the first place. If the population on the train makes up the entirety of earth's population then perhaps getting out occasionally to clear obstacles would be a more prudent course of action than just continuing on at high speed regardless, I mean it's not like they're going to be late for anything. 

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