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Sovietskiy Data Collection Agency

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Study helps labour.


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Comrade tankers,

Our eyes behind enemy lines have confirmed that fascist machinations have led to a new tank-destroyer variant of box-tank, which they strangely call the "WaiFuTrager E-100". Such a tank has already been fielded against the Western front, resulting in heavy initial losses for the capitalist potato-tanks.

All things considered, it does not take much effort to mash a potato, but various reports do indicate that the WFT carries "an operational 420 degree turret; a gun with laser, radar, and infrared guided targeting; an autoloader that can drop six shells in 10 seconds, APCR that can penetrate anything by autoaiming, speed that matches that of the Stalin-3, invisibility enhanced by German brick-style camouflage", and, most outrageous of all, "420 units of view range".

Obviously, such exaggerated claims are the work of the fascist propaganda machine, but nevertheless it is our duty to study this new threat and formulate the most efficient countermeasures to not only deal with it, but fully eradicate it in the name of the great and everlasting party.


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Due to the fact that the WFT has not yet been fielded on the Eastern front, acquiring a live sample is highly impractical. The only other option then is to acquire documents containing information in relation to the WFT such that we may analyze this new development. These documents are likely well-hidden behind German-occupied territory, and thus the Motherland calls upon her faithful partisans, the people's peasant-patriots operating behind enemy lines, to intercept or steal this vital information, and send it back to Soviet high command for review.

Such confidence we have that the experimental WFT will be a miserable flop, that we require the documents to have been written by the best of the fascist box-ers. Let them show us the best that this abomination can do! Thus the sample should come from fascist unicorns of high stats, optimal equipment, and professional box-crew, so that we may see the greatest extent of success, or, more likely, failure, that the WFT is capable of. It is well known that unicorns usually venture in platoons, so a sample with platooning would be considered acceptable.

The sensitive secrets we seek must follow a standardized format, similar to the figure shown below:

[sAMPLE]

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For good science, the sample size should be a minimum of about 20 to 30 trials. As the WFT is, technically, if not practically, a Tier 10 tank-of-the-line, we expect that information regarding "Top Tier" be replaced with other such data as "Number of Orbital Cannon". Ammunition data may vary depending on the type used, and optionally we may find data on the expenditure of consumables e.g. the excessive consumption of beer-flavoured chocolate. To prove that the data is not a fascist forgery in an attempt to deceive their own wavering soldiers, the document should come with full combat footage and end-of-battle records. It is recommended also to include before and after records of overall stats.

With such intelligence in hand, the Union's unrelenting stat-pad scientists will be able to evaluate the weaknesses and, if any, strengths of this box-tank. Afterwards, the Ministry of War will issue the official verdict and send a report to Stavka, whose genius and leadership will form a stratagem to annihilate this threat against the working public.

The partisan groups who obtain this critical data, by any means necessary, would rightfully earn themselves the titles, "Hero of the Soviet Union", and their names will live in the legends of folk tale forevermore.

Volunteers of the Red Army, enlist now!


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Dear Comrade,

 

What is a 420 degree turret? I am not aware that Fascists have access to such geometry-breaking technology? Such technology must forever remain the preserve of the Glorious Red Army!

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Ok, I have a question. You've referred you, numbers, as "we", so implying there are multiple people playing. Yet whenever we've platooned, it's always been the same person that I talked to?

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Ok, I have a question. You've referred you, numbers, as "we", so implying there are multiple people playing. Yet whenever we've platooned, it's always been the same person that I talked to?

 

How do you know that?

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Ok, I have a question. You've referred you, numbers, as "we", so implying there are multiple people playing. Yet whenever we've platooned, it's always been the same person that I talked to?

 

He is the one who gives voice to the many.  He is as the sea:  remove a bucket of water, and it still remains.  Kill one, or kill many.  It matters not.  More shall rise to take their places.  He is all of us, yet none of us. 

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Ok, I have a question. You've referred you, numbers, as "we", so implying there are multiple people playing. Yet whenever we've platooned, it's always been the same person that I talked to?

 

Soviet Clones.

 

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Apparently, by passing through another dimension the waffle's gun can instantly jump back to our dimension perfectly locked on to a target as the turret traverses. That's how you can do 360noscopes by using autoaim at 400 metres; see the appropriate youtube video.

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I figured he spoke for the proletariat... hence the we.

 

Or hilarious bad definite article usage.

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Numbers how do I send you my data?

 

Wt replays records like a lot of info, prob everything you want on spreadsheet.

 

Make your spreadsheet like the example.

Pack all your replays into a zip.

Pack end-of-battle screenshots into a zip.

 

Post the items on this thread or somewhere visible.

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