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Garbad

The Garbad Effect

  

182 members have voted

  1. 1. Which are the worst flavor of pubs?

    • Reds -- deep incompetence coupled with frequent arrogance/denial. They don't even try, and are ALWAYS bad.
    • Yellows -- They try....AND FAIL.
    • Greens -- Just barely good enough that you think you can rely on them...and then they push valley in lakeville.
    • Blues -- They think they are elite, but in truth they just sit there and camp and hope the other team is more retarded than yours (58% success rate! \o/)
    • Purples -- See blues and imagine them moving in groups.
    • Dark Purples -- They don't carry me hard enough ~25% of the time. What failures.


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http://wotreplays.com/site/551296#pearl_river-garbad_the_weak-object_430_version_ii

Twice in one game.

 

First incident:

 

Green Waffle:  (thinks to himself -- I notice they have a lot of heavies, we have mediums.  Their heavies will probably dogpile into that choke to the north, nicely lined up for my death cannon to mow them down.  Conversely, I could drive south on a ridge and use my bloated, armorless TD as a peekabooming scout, exposing my o% camo rating to side shots as I do.)

 

Green Waffle:  IM HEADED SOUTH, LOL.

Garbad:  We will lose this game if you do.

Green Waffle:  ?? WAT2DO?

Garbad:  ...

Green Waffle:  <somehow waddles to me and carries!>

 

Second incident:

 

Window Licking Subhuman clicker:  (thinks to himself -- I have a full clip of orbital death -- many tanks are lined up in the choke -- this is the critical moment.  I see a tier 9 medium humping a wall...and a waffle sitting stationary in the open...next to a stationary J100 sitting in the open)

 

WLSHC:  <clicks at garbad 5 times>

Garbad:  FUCK ARTY AND EVERYONE WHO PLAYS IT

WLSHC:  <clicks at garbad 5 more times, finally lands a click as my waffles rape>

Garbad:  kekekeke thanks for the win retard

WLSHC:  dunt care worth it posting on forums now

Garbad:  keep clicking mr sexiis.  We both get what we want in the end

 

FUCK ARTY AND EVERYONE WHO PLAYS IT

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I've seen those games. T92 clicks my Pershing instead of the Foch155 who's also lit and sitting 25 yards to my right. Foch155 ends up with a Top Gun.

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So... It was a bad day then? :smiledown:

 

As one of the "window licking" crowd seeking to better himself, I apologize for us as a unit.

 

There.  That had to make you feel better.

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So... It was a bad day then? :smiledown:

 

As one of the "window licking" crowd seeking to better himself, I apologize for us as a unit.

 

There.  That had to make you feel better.

Die of aids clicker.

 

And no it was fine, ~80% win rate and ~1500 exp/game on the day, all solopub.

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No oranges?

 

Most reds are either bots or completely new, so you can give them the benefit of the doubt. Someday they might actually become yellow or better.

 

Oranges though seem to more often be players with 5-10k+ games, whos win rate has stabilized after the initial learning process, such that you can unequivocally identify them as total shitters.

 

Reds usually suicide out of ignorance before they can cause major harm to your team- there is no illusion that they ever have your back, and if you're lucky they might even spot something on their blissful drive into the magic TD forest.

 

Oranges though are the cancer. Oranges are the TDs that camp behind the cap point. Oranges are the heavies that have no situational awareness. Oranges are the arty that periodically teamkill allies.

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I'm sure it happens to you more often, but it's not unique to you.  I have a great screenshot buried somewhere, of 6 arti craters in the vicinity of my T-54.  Bat arti and two others dumped all ordnance in my area, ignoring the lit and exposed tier 10 heavy nearby.

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I've seen those games. T92 clicks my Pershing instead of the Foch155 who's also lit and sitting 25 yards to my right. Foch155 ends up with a Top Gun.

Yeah... yellow/green arty are the worst. They usually run XVM and make their targeting decisions purely on that basis, not on the basis of the tactical situation or the tanks involved. Blue player in a bottom tier tank and a tricky shot? Spends next 5 reloads trying to hit him, finally succeeds, yay \O/! Yellow player in a WT E100 with a full clip and clean shots on the other team's top tier heavies? Why would I ever shoot that? They'll support the wrong flank (I'm going to shoot at the side that has 13 of our tanks on it vs. 3 of theirs, why would I ever support the flank that's trying to hold 10 tanks with 2?), take idiotic shots into combat because they need a tank for Expert Tanker or something (7 tanks lit... I think I'll shoot the one sidescraping the much larger 400 hp friendly E100... oops...), and they're never loaded when you need them or looking where you want them.

Blue/purple arty is really rare, but can absolutely turn a game. They prioritize targets well, anticipate the flow of the battle and will (try to, subject to RNG bullshit) land the right hits at the right time to stop a push dead in its tracks or force a hull-down tank to move. They'll wait for that WT auf PzIV to fire and expose himself so they can nuke the big gun rather than firing at the T29 with the 76mm trundling down the open road uselessly.

In general I think reds with more than 4k battles are the worst to play with; they tend to be actively detrimental (running into teammates, blocking good spots, mistiming and misreading everything), where the oranges/yellows can occasionally do something halfway positive, especially if you can bait the other team into their prechosen unalterable campy lines of fire. Reds under 4k battles are usually willing to take advice or try to help out, even if they have no real idea what they're doing. Things get progressively better as you climb, until you get to purple -- who will almost invariably always do the most selfish thing they can at any given point. Full health IS-7 next to a one-shottable T30 and an enemy tank in front of both? A green or blue IS-7 will often take the hit, intentionally or otherwise; the purple IS-7 will do everything short of actually pushing the T30 into the line of fire in order to not take any damage and maximize their own damage.

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It's about 50/50 Red/Orange. both are incapable of using brain cells.

Yellows can barely be counted on more than orange

Greens can usually shoot the enemy not much more though

Blues can usually help you

Purples are most of the time good teammates to help and support 

Dark Purples are the players that you wan't to help and not get in their way(Don't sit right behind them for the love of god)

I only trust Purple-Dark purple ingames blues are 50/50 chance they can be counted on, or they are about as trustworthy as a yellow.

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I have never played arty opposite Garbad, but I think if I did, I wouldn't try to get him, by now he must be at what is the absolute pinnacle of arty-avoidance.

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It's been getting harder and harder to hide my overall stats lately as well.

 

you have insane xvm camo...

 

anyways, I'd say greens/blues to be honest. It's like just when you start to expect them to do something useful, they disappoint you many times. At least you expect nothing from the reds-yellows.

 

I find greens/blues are the ones that care most about their stats. They try the hardest to improve them to get into a top5 clan. This leads to them camping like lil bitches and not willing to use any of their HP at all.

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