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CarbonatedPork

Clever Pubbie Insults?

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It is very difficult to make me rage or go on tilt, but it happens from time to time. Unfortunately, I'm afflicted with a terminal case of staircase wit and choke when it comes time to drop a much needed retort. I need to step up my "shitting in the chatbox" game.

 

What sort of insults do you have in your pubbie insult toolkit?

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R-18 INSULTS COMING THROUGH

 

Single phrases: Cumstain, ass savorer, queer enabler, faglet, Shitler, queermo, niggerlord, shitlord, tardlord, faggotface, judenmensch

 

Sentences: you should have been gassed in WW2, mr. sexii concentration camp survivor, fucking die of cancer, go buy a fucking lottery ticket, go reroll over in bed and die (specifically at rerolls,) mcfucking kill yourself

 

Child friendly: direct descendant of Hitler, fix your badditude, l2p tier 1 first, jump back over the border to Mexico

 

I tend to make up more on the spot or just call them mr. sexii if I'm not that mad

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You there, yes you, blood red pubbie with a sub-45% win rate.  Fuck off.  And when you get there, Fuck off from there too.  Then?  Fuck off some more.  Keep Fucking off until you get back here, then Fuck off again.

 

Shut up, you'll never be half the man your mother is.

 

Don't go away angry, just go away

 

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd probably just drink it

 

If I wanted to kill myself I would just climb your Ego and jump to the level of your IQ

 

It's kinda sad watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one, coherent sentence.

 

Wait, wait, allow me to go find someone who cares...  Oh dear...  Nope, best I could find was a chirping cricket riding a tumbleweed

 

Shall I compare thee to a Summers Eve?  For thou art a Douche

 

I've met some real pricks in my time, but you sir, you are the cactus

 

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

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To sub 45%ers, "don't want to hurt your loss rate" when they do something incredibly stupid. I figure they lose more than they win so the true stat we should ascribe to them is a loss rate, not a win rate.

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Please never breed.

 

If your parents had been as bad at driving cars as you are at tanks we wouldn't have you to hate.

 

Do you like your windows ranch flavored, barbecue or paste?

 

Bigfoot and your stats close friends? They're both non-existent so I assume they're bros.

 

Wow, somebody taught their bot to type in chat. Does anyone here speak fucktard? I'm curious what it's saying...

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Pubbie fills chat with klingon nonsense on EU server? Ask him: "What your mom has 4 legs?"

 

Greeting turkish clans with "Freedom to kurdistan and its glorious leader!" gets them really riled up in most cases.

 

"Your parents were obviously siblings!" or variations of that.

 

Asking 40% WR IS7 if his tank is still stock.

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"You're worse than a coin"

 

"Trained octopus"

 

"I'd be worried about you TKing me if I wasn't confident you'd miss"

 

Rebuttals

To gold whiners:

 

"Why complain? Gold doesn't help you win, does it?"

"Yes it does"

"Good, so you know how to win but are too retarded to use it"

 

I don't fire gold because I NEED it to pen you, I fire gold to show my contempt at your poorness

"gold ammo whore"

"Why? Are you too shit to make enough credits"

 

"P2W"

"You can't afford gold? So you fail at tanks AND real life too?"

 

To Play4Funs:

"STFU I play for fun"

"I had no idea people found losing fun"

 

To Arty:

"How to play Arty: Click on red, wank with other hand"

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"Does your mother take you to the truck stop bathroom where you were conceived to celebrate your birthday?"

 

For a fail platoon (3 45%'rs playing "for fun" together):

 

"You guys trying to form some sort of retard Voltron?"

 

Finding the artillery that are the lone survivors for their team:

 

"Just following the smell of rotting tampons and shame"

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"Are you mummies favourite failed abortion? :) :)"

 

I'm really bad at these, usually the only sperg that comes out of me starts with "clicking" and ends with "cunt". My rare gems usually fall on Polish ears. :(

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To the dead red that keeps bitching:

"Dead man talking." Or "I hear dead people." a la Sixth Sense.

If they are red and in a clan: "Is a sub-49% win rate required, or just preferred to be in XYZ clan?"

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